“getyourhandsoffme!”iscreamoverthepoundingmusic,apoplecticwith
rage.
“comeon,sugar,it’sjustsomefun.”hesmiles,holdinghisapelikehands
up,hisblueeyesgleamingunderthepulsingultra一violetlights.beforeiknow
whati’mdoing,islaphimhardaroundtheface.281|page
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ow!shit...myhand.itstings.“getawayfromme!”ishout.hegazesdown
atme,cuppinghisredcheek.ithrustmyuninjuredhandinfrontofhisface,
spreadingmyfingerstoshowhimmyrings.
“i’mmarried,youasshole!”
“i’mmarried,youasshole!”
heshrugsratherarrogantlyandgivesmeahalfhearted,apologeticsmile.
iglancearoundfrantically.miaisatmyright,glaringatblondgiant.kateis
lostinthemomentdoingherthing.christianisnotatthetable.oh,ihope
he’sgonetotherestroom.istepback—ohshit—intoafrontiknowwell.
christianputshisarmaroundmywaistandmovesmetohisside.
“keepyourfuckinghandsoffmywife,”hesays.he’snotshouting,but
somehowhecanbeheardoverthemusic.
holyshit!
“shecantakecareofherself,”blondgiantshouts.hishandmovesfromhis
cheekwherei’veslappedhim,andchristianhitshim.it’slikei’mwatchingit
inslowmotion.aperfectlytimedpunchtothechinthatmovesatsuchspeed,
butwithsolittlewastedenergy,blondgiantdoesn’tseeitcoming.he
crumplestothefloorlikethescumbagheis.fuck.
“christian,no!”igaspinpanic,standinginfrontofhimtoholdhimback.shit,
he’llkillhim.“ialreadyhithim,”ishoutoverthemusic.christiandoesn’tlook
atme.he’sglaringatmyassailantwithamalevolencei’venotseenbefore
flaringinhiseyes.well,maybeoncebefore—outsidesipafterjackhyde’s
passatme.
theotherdancersmoveoutwardlikearippleinapond,clearingspace
aroundus,keepingasafedistance.blondgiantscramblestohisfeetas
elliotjoinsus.
ohno!kateiswithme,gapingatallofus.elliotgraspschristian’sarmas
ethanappears,too.
“takeiteasy,okay?didn’tmeananyharm.”blondgiantholdshishandsup
indefeat,beatingahastyretreat.christian’seyesfollowhimoffthedance
floor.hedoesnotlookatme.
thesongchangesfromtheexplicitlyricsof“sexybitch”toapulsingtechno
dancenumberwhereawomansingswithanimpassionedvoice.elliotlooks
downatme,thenacrossatchristian,andreleasingchristian,pullskateinto
adance.iputmyarmsaround282|page
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christian’sneckuntilhefinallymakeseyecontact,hiseyesstillblazing—
primalandferal,aglimpseofabrawlingadolescent.holyshit.he
scrutinizesmyface.whatishethinking?
“areyouokay?”heasksfinally.
“yes.”irubmypalm,tryingtodispelthesting,andbringmyhandsdownto
hischest.myhandisthrobbing.iha一veneverslappedanyonebefore.what
possessedme?touchingmewasn’ttheworstcrimeagainsthumanity.was
it?
yetdeepdowniknowwhyihithim.it’sbecauseiinstinctivelyknewhow
christianwouldreactseeingsomestrangerpawingme.iknewhe’dlosehis
preciousself-control.andthethoughtthatsomestupidnobodycouldderail
myhusband,mylove,well,itmakesmemad.reallymad.
“doyouwanttositdown?”christianasksoverthepulsingbeat.oh,come
backtome,please.
“no.dancewithme.”
hegazesdownatmeimpassively,sayingnothing.
touchme...thewomansings.
“dancewithme.”he’sstillmad.“dance.christian,please.”itakehishands.
christianglaresaftertheguy,butistarttomoveagainsthim,wea一vingmyself
aroundhim.
thethrongofdancershascircledusoncemore,althoughthere’snowatwofoot
exclusionzonearoundus.
“youhithim?”christianasks,standingstock-still.itakehisfistedhands.
“ofcourseidid.ithoughtitwasyou,buthishandswerehairier.please
dancewithme.”
aschristiangazesatmethefireinhiseyesslowlychanges,evolvesinto
somethingelse,somethingdarker,somethinghotter.suddenly,hegrabsmy
wristsandpullsmeflushagainsthim,pinningmyhandsbehindmyback.
“youwannadance?let’sdance,”hegrowlsclosetomyear,andasherolls
hishipsaroundintome,icandonothingbutfollow,hishandsholdingmine
againstmybackside.
oh...christiancanmove,reallymove.hekeepsmeclose,notlettingme
go,buthishandsgraduallyrelaxonmine,freeingme.myhandscreep
around,uphisarms,feelinghisbunchedmusclesthrough283|page
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hisjacket,uptohisshoulders.hepressesmeagainsthim,andifollowhis
movesasheslowly,sensuallydanceswithmeintimetothepulsingbeatof
theclubmusic.
themomenthegrabsmyhandandspinsmefirstoneway,thentheother,i
knowhe’sbackwithme.igrin.hegrins.
wedancetogetherandit’sliberating—fun.hisangerforgotten,or
suppressed,hewhirlsmearoundwithconsummateskillinoursmallspace
onthedancefloor,neverlettinggo.hemakesmegraceful,that’shisskill.he
makesmesexy,becausethat’swhatheis.hemakesmefeelloved,
becauseinspiteofhisfiftyshades,hehasawealthoflovetogive.watching
himnow,enjoyinghimself...onecouldbeforgivenforthinkinghedoesn’t
ha一veacareintheworld.butiknowhisloveiscloudedwithissuesof
ha一veacareintheworld.butiknowhisloveiscloudedwithissuesof
overprotectivenessandcontrol,butitdoesn’tmakemelovehimanyless.
iambreathlesswhenthesongmorphstoanother.
“canwesit?”igasp.
“sure.”heleadsmeoffthedancefloor.
“you’vemademeratherhotandsweaty,”iwhisperaswereturntothetable.
hepullsmeintohisarms.“ilikeyouhotandsweaty.thoughiprefertomake
youhotandsweatyinprivate,”hepurrs,andalascivioussmiletugsathis
lips.
asisit,it’sasiftheincidentonthedancefloorneverhappened.i’mvaguely
surprisedweha一ven’tbeenthrownout.iglancearoundthebar.nooneis
lookingatus,andican’tseeblondgiant.maybeheleft,ormaybehe’sbeen
thrownout.kateandelliotarebeingindecentonthedancefloor,ethanand
mialessso.itakeanothersipofchampagne.
“here.”christianputsanotherglassofwaterbeforemeandregardsme
intently.hisexpressionisexpectant—drinkit.drinkitnow.idoasi’mtold.
besides,i’mthirsty.
reachingover,heliftsabottleofperonifromtheicebucketonthetableand
takesalongdrink.
“whatiftherehadbeenpresshere?”iask.
christianknowsimmediatelythati’mreferringtohimknockingblondegiant
onhisass.
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“iha一veexpensivelawyers,”hesayscoolly,allatoncearrogancepersonified.
ifrownathim.“butyou’renotabovethelaw,christian.ididha一vethesituation
undercontrol.”
hiseyesfrost.“noonetoucheswhat’smine,”hesayswithchillingfinality,as
ifi’mmissingtheobvious.oh...itakeanothersipofmychampagne.allof
asuddenifeeloverwhelmed.themusicisloud,pounding,myheadandfeet
areaching,andifeelwoozy.hegraspsmyhand.“come,let’sgo.iwantto
getyouhome,”hesays.kateandelliotjoinus.
“yougoing?”kateasksandhervoiceishopeful.
“yes,”christiansays.
“good,we’llcomewithyou.”
aswewaitatthecoatcheckforchristiantoretrievemytrenchcoat,kate
quizzesme.
“whathappenedwiththatguyonthedancefloor?”
“hewasfeelingmeup.”
“iopenedmyeyesandyou’dhithim.”
ishrug.“well,iknewchristianwouldgothermonuclear,andthatcould
potentiallyruinyourevening.”iha一ven’treallyprocessedhowifeelabout
christian’sbeha一vior.iwasworriedthatitwouldbeworse.
“ourevening,”sheclarifies.“heisratherhot-headed,isn’the?”
kateaddsdryly,staringatchristianashecollectsmycoat.isnortandsmile.
“youcouldsaythat.”
“ithinkyouhandlehimwell.”
“handle?”ifrown.doihandlechristian?
“here.”christianholdsmycoatopenformesothaticanputiton.
“wakeup,ana.”christianisshakingmegently.we’vearrivedbackatthe
house.reluctantlyiopenmyeyesandstaggerfromtheminivan.kateand
elliotha一vedisappeared,andtaylorisstandingpatientlybesidethevehicle.
“doineedtocarryyou?”christianasks.
ishakemyhead.
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fiftyshadesfreed
“i’llfetchmissgreyandmr.ka一vanagh,”taylorsays.christiannodsthen
leadsmetothefrontdoor.myfeetarethrobbing,andistumbleafterhim.at
thefrontdoorhebendsdown,graspsmyankle,andgentlypriesofffirstone
shoe,thentheother.oh,therelief.hestraightensandgazesdownatme,
holdingmymanolos.
“better?”heasks,amused.
inod.
“ihaddelightfulvisionsofthesearoundmyears,”hemurmurs,staringdown
wistfullyatmyshoes.heshakeshisheadand,takingmyhandoncemore,
leadsmethroughthedarkenedhouse,andupthestairstoourbedroom.
“you’rewrecked,aren’tyou?”hesayssoftly,staringdownatme.inod.he
startstounbucklethebeltonmytrenchcoat.
“i’lldoit,”imutter,makingahalfheartedattempttobrushhimoff.
“letme.”
isigh.ihadnoideaiwasthistired.
“it’sthealtitude.you’renotusedtoit.andthedrinking,ofcourse.”hesmirks
andpestsmeofmycoatandthrowsitononeofthebedroomchairs.
takingmyhand,heleadsmeintothebathroom.what?whyarewegoingin
here?
“sit,”hesays.
isitonthechairandclosemyeyes.ihearhimmessingaroundwithbottles
onthevanityunit.iamtootiredtoopenmyeyestofindoutwhathe’sdoing.
amomentlaterhetipsmyheadback.nowiopenmyeyes,insurprise.
“eyesclosed,”christiansays.holycrap,he’sholdingacottonball!
gently,hewipesitovermyrighteye.isitstunnedashemethodically
removesmymakeup.
“ah.there’sthewomanimarried,”hesaysafterafewwipes.
“youdon’tlikemakeup?”
“ilikeitwellenough,butipreferwhat’sbeneathit.”hekissesmyforehead.
“here.takethese.”heputssomeadvilintomypalmandhandsmeaglass
ofwater.
ilookupathim,pouting.
“takethem,”heorders.
irollmyeyes,butdoasi’mtold.
“good.doyouneedaprivatemoment?”heaskssardonically.286|page
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isnort.“socoy,mr.grey.yes,ineedtopee.”
helaughs.“youexpectmetolea一ve?”
igiggle.“youwanttostay?”
hecockshisheadtooneside,hisexpressionamused.
“youareonekinkysonofabitch.out.idon’twantyoutowatchmepee.
that’sasteptoofar.”istandandwa一vehimoutofthebathroom.
wheniemergefromthebathroom,he’schangedintohispajamabottoms.
hmm...christianinpjs.igazemesmerizedathisabdomen,hismuscles,
hishappytrail.it’sdistracting.hestridesovertome.
“enjoyingtheview?”heaskswryly.
“always.”
“ithinkyou’reslightlydrunk,mrs.grey.”
“ithink,foronce,iha一vetoagreewithyou,mr.grey.”
“letmehelpyououtofwhatlittlethereisofthisdress.itreallyshouldcome
withahealthwarning.”heturnsmearoundandundoesthesinglebuttonat
theneck.
“youweresomad,”imurmur.
“yes.iwas.”
“atme?”
“no.notatyou.”hekissesmyshoulder.“foronce.”
ismile.notmadatme.thisisprogress.“makesanicechange.”
“yes.itdoes.”hekissesmyothershoulderthentugsmydressdownovermy
backsideandontothefloor.heremovesmypantiesatthesametime,
lea一vingmenaked.reachingup,hetakesmyhand.
“step,”hecommands,andistepoutofthedress,holdinghishandfor
balance.
hestands,andmydressandpantiesjoinmia’strenchcoatonthechair.
“armsup,”hesayssoftly.heslipshist-shirtovermeandpullsitdown,
coveringmeup.iamreadyforbed.
hepullsmeintohisarmsandkissesme,mymintybreathminglingwithhis.
“asmuchasi’dlovetoburymyselfinyou,mrs.grey—you’vehadtoomuch
todrink,you’reatnearlyeightthousandfeet,andyoudidn’t287|page
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sleepwellyesterday.come.getintobed.”hepullsbacktheduvetandi
climbin.hecoversmeupandkissesmyforeheadoncemore.
“closeyoureyes.whenicomebacktobed,i’llexpectyoutobeasleep.”it’s
athreat,acommand...it’schristian.
“don’tgo,”iplead.
“iha一vesomecallstomake,ana.”
“it’ssaturday.it’slate.please.”
herunshishandsthroughhishair.“ana,ificometobedwithyounow,you
won’tgetanyrest.sleep.”he’sadamant.iclosemyeyesandhislipsbrush
myforeheadoncemore.
“goodnight,baby,”hebreathes.
imagesofthedayflashthroughmymind...christianhaulingmeoverhis
shoulderintheplane.hisanxietyastowhetherornoti’dlikethehouse.
makinglovethisafternoon.thebath.hisreactiontomydress.decking
blondgiant—mypalmtinglesatthememory.andthenchristianputtingme
tobed.
whowouldha一vethought?igrinwidely,thewordprogressrunningaroundmy
brainasidrift.
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