Part III Chapter Eight

face.hishandmovesfrommychindowntothetopbuttonofmyblouse.

“enoughofthisprimping.iwanttofuckyousevenshadesofsunday,andwe

candoitinhereorinthebedroom.youdecide.”

christian’seyesblazeintomine,hotandfullofpromise,hishairdripping

waterontousboth.mymouthgoesdry.

“what’sittobe,anastasia?”heasksasheholdsinhislap.

“you’rewet,”irespond.

hebendshisheadsuddenly,runninghisdrippinghairalldownthefrontof

myblouse.isquealandtrytowriggleoffhim.hetightenshisgriparoundme.

“ohnoyoudon’t,baby,”hemurmurs.whenheraiseshisheadhe’sgrinning

salaciouslyatme,andiammisswetblouse2011.mytopissoakedand

totallysee-through.i’mwet...everywhere.

“lovetheview,”hemurmursandleansdowntorunhisnosearoundand

aroundonewetnipple.isquirm.

“answerme,ana.hereorthebedroom?”

“here,”iwhisperfrantically.tohellwiththehaircut—i’lldoitlater.hesmiles

slowly,hislipscurlingintoasensuoussmilefulloflicentiouspromise.

“goodchoice,mrs.grey,”hemurmursagainstmylips.hereleasesmychin

andhishandmovestomyknee.itglidessmoothlyupmyleg,liftingmyskirt

andskatingovermyskin,makingmetingle.hislipstrailsoftkissesfromthe

baseofmyearalongmyjaw.160|page

eljames

“oh,whatshallidotoyou?”hewhispers.hisfingershaltatmystockingtops.

“ilikethese,”hesays.herunsafingerunderneaththetopandskimsit

aroundtomyinnerthigh.igaspandsquirmoncemoreinhislap.

hegroans,lowinhisthroat.“ifi’mgoingtofuckyousevenshadesofsunday,

iwantyoutokeepstill.”

“makeme,”ichallenge,myvoicesoftandbreathy.

christianinhalessharply.henarrowshiseyesandregardsmewithahot,

hoodedexpression.

“oh,mrs.grey.youha一veonlytoask.”hishandmovesfrommystockingtops

uptomypanties.“let’spestyouofthese.”hetugsgentlyandishifttohelp

him.hisbreathhissesthroughhisteethasido.

“keepstill,”hegrumbles.

“i’mhelping,”ipout,andheseizesmylowerlipgentlybetweenhisteeth.

“still,”hegrowls.heslidesmypantiesdownmylegsandoff.tuggingmy

skirtupsothatit’sbunchedaroundmyhips,hemovesbothhandstomy

waistandliftsme.hestillhasmypantiesinhishand.

“sit.astrideme,”heordersstaringintentlyintomyeyes.ishift,straddling

him,andregardhimprovocatively.bringiton,fifty!

“mrs.grey,”hewarns“areyougoadingme?”hegazesatme,amusedbut

aroused.it’saseductivecombination.

“yes.whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”

hiseyeslightupwithsalaciousdelightatmychallenge,andifeelhisarousal

beneathme.“claspyourhandstogetherbehindyourback.”

oh!icomplyobedientlyand,deftly,hebindsmywriststogetherwithmy

panties.hefastensthemtight.

“mypanties?mr.grey,youha一venoshame,”iadmonish.

“notwhereyou’reconcerned,mrs.grey,butyouknowthat.”hislookis

intenseandhot.puttinghishandsaroundmywaist,heshiftsmesoiam

sittingalittlefurtherbackonhislap.waterstilldripsdownhisneckandover

hischest.iwanttobendforwardandlickthedripsoff,butit’strickiernowthat

iamrestrained.

christiancaressesbothofmythighsandskimshishandsdowntomyknees.

gentlyhepushesthemfurtherapartandwidenshisown161|page

fiftyshadesfreed

legs,holdingmeinthatposition.hisfingersmovetothebuttonsofmy

blouse.

“idon’tthinkweneedthis,”hesays.hestartsmethodicallyundoingeach

buttononmyclingingwetblouse,hiseyesneverlea一vingmine.theyget

darkeranddarkerashefinishesthetask,takinghisownsweettimeaboutit.

mypulsequickensandmybreathingshallows.ican’tbelieveit—he’shardly

touchedme,andifeellikethis—hot,bothered...ready.iwanttosquirm.he

lea一vesmydampblousehangingopenandusingbothhands,hecaresses

myfacewithhisfingers,histhumbskimmingacrossmybottomlip.

suddenly,hethrustshisthumbintomymouth.

“suck,”heordersinawhisper,stressingthes.iclosemymoutharoundhim

anddoexactlythat.oh...ilikethisgame.hetastesgood.whatelsewould

iliketosuck?themusclesinmybellyclenchatthethought.hislipspart

wheniscrapemyteethandbitethesoftpadofhisthumb.

hegroansandslowlyextractshiswetthumbfrommymouthandtrailsit

downmychin,downmythroat,overmysternum.hehooksitintothecupof

mybraandyanksthecupdown,freeingmybreast.christian’sgazenever

lea一vesmine.he’swatchingeachreactionthathistouchelicitsfromme,and

i’mwatchinghim.it’shot.consuming.possessive.iloveit.hemirrorshis

actionswithhisotherhandsobothmybreastsarefreeand,cuppingthem

gently,heskimseachthumboveranipple,circlingslowly,teasingand

tauntingeachonesothattheyhardenanddistendbeneathhisskillfultouch.i

try,ireallytrynottomove,butmynipplesarehotwiredtomygroin,soimoan

andthrowmyheadback,closingmyeyesandsurrenderingtothesweet,

sweettorture.

“shh.”christian’ssoothingvoiceisatoddswiththeteasing,eventempo

rhythmofhiswickedfingers.“still,baby,still.”releasingonebreast,he

reachesupbehindmeandsplayshishandaroundthenapeofmyneck.

leaningforward,hetakesmynowbereftnippleintohismouthandsucks

hard,hiswethairticklingme.atthesametime,histhumbstopsskimming

acrossmyotherelongatednipple.instead,hetakesitbetweenhisthumb

andforefingerandtugsandtwistsitgently.162|page

eljames

“ah!christian!”igroanandbuckforwardonhislap.buthedoesn’tstop.he

continuestheslow,leisurely,agonizingtease.andmybodyisburningasthe

pleasuretakesadarkerturn.

“christian,please,”iwhimper.

“hmm,”hehumslowinhischest.“iwantyoutocomelikethis.”

mynipplegetsabriefrespiteashiswordscaressmyskin,andit’slikehe’s

callingtoadeep,darkpartofmypsychethatonlyheknows.whenhe

resumeswithhisteeththistime,thepleasureisalmostintolerable.moaning

loudly,iwritheonhislap,tryingtofindsomepreciousfrictionagainsthis

pants.ipulluselesslyagainstmyrestrainingpanties,itchingtotouchhim,but

i’mlost—lostinthistreacheroussensation.

“please,”iwhisper,pleading,andpleasurefliesthroughmybody,frommy

neck,rightdowntomylegs,tomytoes,tighteningallinitswake.

“youha一vesuchbeautifulbreasts,ana.”hegroans.“onedayi’llfuckthem.”

what?gah!whatthehelldoesthatmean?openingmyeyes,igapedown

athimashesucklesme,myskinsingingunderhistouch.inolongerfeelmy

soddenblouse,hiswethair...nothingexcepttheburn.anditburns

deliciouslyhotandlow,deepinsideme,andallthoughtevaporatesasmy

bodytightensandclenches...ready,reaching...piningforrelease.andhe

doesn’tstop—teasing,pulling,drivingmewild.iwant...iwant...

“letgo,”hebreathes—andido,loudly,myorgasmconvulsingthroughmy

body,andhestopshissweettortureandwrapshisarmsaroundme,

clutchingmetohimasmybodyspiralsdownfrommyclimax.wheniopen

myeyes,heisgazingdownatmewhereirestagainsthischest.

“god,ilovetowatchyoucome,ana.”hisvoiceisfullofwonder.

“thatwas...”wordsfailme.

“iknow.”heleansforwardandkissesme,hishandstillatthenapeofmy

neck,holdingmejustso,anglingmyheadsohecankissmedeeply—with

love,withreverence.

iamlostinhiskiss.

hepullsawaytodrawbreath,hiseyesthecolorofatropicalstorm.

“nowi’mgoingtofuckyou,hard,”hemurmurs.

163|page

fiftyshadesfreed

holycow.grabbingmearoundthewaist,heliftsmefromhisthighsdownto

theedgeofhiskneesandreacheswithhisrighthandforthebuttononthe

waistbandofhisna一vypants.herunsthefingersofhislefthandupanddown

mythigh,stoppingatmystockingtopseachtime.he’swatchingmeintently.

we’refacetofaceandi’mhelpless,trussedupinmybraandbymypanties,

andthishastobeoneofthemostintimatetimeswe’vehad—mesittingon

hislap,staringintohisbeautifulgrayeyes.itmakesmefeelwanton,butalso

soconnectedtohim—iamnotembarrassedorshy.thisischristian,my

husband,mylover,myoverbearingmegalomaniac,myfifty—theloveofmy

life.hereachesforhiszipper,andmymouthgoesdryashiserection

springsfree.

hesmirks.“youlike?”hewhispers.

“hmm,”imurmurappreciatively.hewrapshishandaroundhimselfand

movesitupanddown...ohmy.igazeupathimthroughmylashes.fuck,

he’ssosexy.

“you’rebitingyourlip,mrs.grey.”

“that’sbecausei’mhungry.”

“hungry?”hismouthopensinsurprise,andhiseyeswidenafraction.

“hmm...”iagreeandlickmylips.

hegivesmehisenigmaticsmileandbiteshislowerlipashecontinuesto

strokehimself.whyisthesightofmyhusbandpleasuringhimselfsucha

turn-on?

“isee.youshouldha一veeatenyourdinner.”histoneismockingand

censoriousatonce.“butmaybeicanoblige.”heputshishandsonmywaist.

“stand,”hesayssoftly,andiknowwhathe’sgoingtodo.igettomyfeet,my

legsnolongershaking.

“kneel.”

idoasi’mtoldandkneeldownonthecooltiledfloorofthebathroom.he

slidesforwardontheseatofthechair.

“kissme,”heuttersholdinghiserection.iglanceupathim,andherunshis

tongueoverhistopteeth.it’sarousing,veryarousing,toseehisdesire,his

nakeddesireformeandmymouth.leaningforward,myeyesonhis,ikiss

thetipofhiserection.iwatchhiminhalesharplyandclenchhisteeth.

christiancupsthesideofmyhead,andirunmytongueoverthetip,tasting

thesmallbeadofdewontheend.hmm...164|page

eljames

hetastesgood.hismouthdropsopenfurtherashegaspsandipounce,

pullinghimintomymouthandsuckinghard.

“ah—”theairhissesthroughhisteeth,andheflexeshishipsforward,

thrustingintomymouth.butidon’tstop.sheathingmyteethbehindmylips,i

pushdownandthenpulluponhim.hemovesbothhandssothathefully

cupsmyhead,buryinghisfingersinmyhairandslowlyeaseshimselfinand

outofmymouth,hisbreathingquickening,growingharsher.itwirlmytongue

aroundhistipandpushdownagaininperfectcounterpointtohim.

aroundhistipandpushdownagaininperfectcounterpointtohim.

“jesus,ana.”hesighsandscrewshiseyestightly.he’slostandit’sheady,

hisresponsetome.me.myinnergoddesscouldlightupescala,she’sso

thrilled.andveryslowlyidrawmylipsback,soit’sjustmyteeth.

“ah!”christianstopsmoving.leaningforwardhegrabsmeandpullsmeup

ontohislap.

“enough!”hegrowls.reachingbehindme,hefreesmyhandswithonetug

onmypanties.iflexmywristsandstarefromundermylashesintoscorching

eyesthatgazebackatmewithloveandlongingandlust.andirealizeit’s

methatwantstofuckhimsevenshadesofsunday.iwanthimbadly.iwantto

watchhimcomeapartbeneathme.igrabhiserectionandscootoverhim.

placingmyotherhandonhisshoulder,verygentlyandslowly,ieasemyself

ontohim.hemakesaguttural,feralnoisedeepinhisthroatand,reaching

up,pullsmyblouseoffandletsitfalltothefloor.hishandsmovetomyhips.

“still,”herasps,hishandsdiggingintomyflesh.“please,letmesa一vorthis.

sa一voryou.”

istop.ohmy...hefeelssogoodinsideme.hecaressesmyface,hiseyes

wideandwild,hislipspartedashebreathes.heflexesbeneathmeandi

moan,closingmyeyes.

“thisismyfa一voriteplace,”hewhispers.“insideyou.insidemywife.”

ohfuck.christian.icannotholdback.myfingersglideintohiswethair,my

lipsseekhis,andistarttomove.upanddownonmytoes,sa一voringhim,

sa一voringme.hegroansloudly,andhishandsareinmyhairandaroundmy

back,andhistongueinvadesmymouthgreedily,takingallthatiwillingly

give.afterallourarguingtoday,myfrustrationwithhim,hiswithme—westill

ha一vethis.wewillalways165|page

fiftyshadesfreed

ha一vethis.ilovehimsomuch,it’salmostoverwhelming.hishandsmoveto

mybacksideandhecontrolsme,movingmeupanddown,againandagain,

athispace—hishot,slicktempo.

“ah,”igroanhelplesslyintohismouthasi’mcarriedaway.

“yes.yes,ana,”hehisses,andirainkissesonhisface,hischin,hisjaw,his

neck.“baby,”hebreathes,capturingmymouthoncemore.

“oh,christian,iloveyou.iwillalwaysloveyou.”i’mbreathless,wantinghim

toknow,wantinghimtobesureofmeafterourbattleofwillstoday.

hemoansloudlyandwrapshisarmsaroundmetightlyasheclimaxeswitha

mournfulsob,andit’senough—enoughtopushmeoverthebrinkoncemore.

iclutchmyarmsaroundhisheadandletgo,andicomearoundhim,tears

springingtomyeyesbecauseilovehimso.

“hey,”hewhispers,tippingmychinbackandgazingatmewithquiet

concern.“whyareyoucrying?didihurtyou?”

“no,”imutterreassuringly.hesmoothesmyhairoffmyface,wipesawaya

lonetearwiththisthumbandtenderlykissesmylips.heisstillinsideme.he

shifts,andiwinceashepullsoutofme.

“what’swrong,ana?tellme.”

isniff.“it’sjust...it’sjustsometimesi’moverwhelmedbyhowmuchilove

you,”iwhisper.heblinksdownatme.

“oh.”thenhesmileshisspecialshysmile—reservedforme,ithink.“you

ha一vethesameeffectonme,”hewhispers,andkissesmeoncemore.ismile

upathim,andinsidemyjoyunfurlsandstretcheslazily.

“doi?”

hesmirks.“youknowyoudo.”

“sometimesiknow.notallthetime.”

“backatyou,mrs.grey,”hewhispers.

igrinandgentlyplacefeather-lightkissesoverhischest.inuzzlehischest

hair.christiancaressesmyhairandrunsahanddownmyback.he

unclaspsmybraandpullsthestrapdownonearm.ishift,andhetugsthe

strapdowntheotherarmanddropsmybraonthefloor.

“hmm.skinonskin,”hemurmursappreciativelyandfoldsmeinhisarms

again.hekissesmyshoulderandrunshisnoseuptomyear.

“yousmelllikehea一ven,mrs.grey.”

166|page

eljames

“sodoyou,mr.grey.”inuzzlehimagainandinhalehischristiansmell,

whichisnowmixedwiththeheadyscentofsex.icouldstaywrappedinhis

armslikethis,satedandhappy,forever.it’sjustwhatineedafterafulldayof

back-to-work,arguing,andbitchslapping.thisiswhereiwanttobe,andin

spiteofhiscontrolfreakery,hismegalomania,thisiswhereibelong.

christianburieshisnoseinmyhairandinhalesdeeply.iletoutacontented

sigh,andifeelhissmile.andwesit,armsclaspedaroundeachother,

sayingnothing.eventuallyrealityintrudes.

“it’slate,”christiansays,hisfingersmethodicallystrokingmyback.

“yourhairstillneedscutting.”

hechuckles.“thatitdoes,mrs.grey.doyouha一vetheenergytofinishthe

jobyoustarted?”

“foryou,mr.grey,anything.”ikisshischestoncemoreandreluctantly

stand.

“don’tgo.”grabbingmyhips,heturnsmearound.hestraightensthen

undoesmyskirt,lettingitdroptothefloor.heholdshishandouttome.itake

itandstepoutofmyskirt.nowiamdressedsolelyinstockingsandgarter

belt.

“youareamightyfinesight,mrs.grey.”hesitsbackinthechairand

crosseshisarms,givingmeafullandfrankappraisal.iholdoutmyhands

andtwirlforhim.

“god,i’maluckysonofabitch,”hesaysadmiringly.

“yes,youare.”

hegrins.“putmyshirtonandyoucancutmyhair.likethis,you’lldistract

me,andwe’llnevergettobed.”

ican’thelpmyansweringsmile.knowingthathe’swatchingmyeverymove,i

sashayovertowhereweleftmyshoesandhisshirt.bendingslowly,ireach

down,pickuphisshirt,smellit—hmm—thenshrugiton.

christianblinksatme,hiseyesround.he’sredonehisflyandiswatching

meintently.

“that’squiteafloorshow,mrs.grey.”

“doweha一veanyscissors?”iaskinnocently,battingmyeyelashes.

“mystudy,”hecroaks.

167|page

fiftyshadesfreed

“i’llgosearch.”lea一vinghim,iwalkintoourbedroomandgrabmycombfrom

thedressingtablebeforeheadingtohisstudy.asienterthemaincorridor,i

noticethedoortotaylor’sofficeisopen.mrs.jonesisstandingjustbeyond

thedoor.istop,rootedtothespot.taylorisrunninghisfingersdownherface

andsmilingsweetlyather.thenheleansdownandkissesher.

holyshit!taylorandmrs.jones?igapeinastonishment—imean,ithought

...well,ikindofsuspected.butobviouslytheyaretogether!

iflush,feelinglikeavoyeur,andmanagetogetmyfeettomove.iscamper

acrossthegreatroomandintochristian’sstudy.switchingonthelight,i

walktohisdesk.taylorandmrs.jones...wow!i’mreeling.ialways

thoughtmrs.joneswasolderthantaylor.oh,iha一vetogetmyheadaround

this.iopenthetopdrawerandamimmediatelydistractedwhenifindagun.

christianhasagun!

arevolver.holyfuck!ihadnoideachristianownedagun.itakeitout,slip

thereleaseandcheckthecylinder.it’sfullyloaded,butlight...toolight.it

mustbecarbonfiber.whatdoeschristianwantwithagun?jeez,ihopehe

knowshowtouseit.ray’sperpetualwarningsabouthandgunsrunquickly

throughmymind.hisarmytrainingwasneverlost.thesewillkillyou,ana.

youneedtoknowwhatyou’redoingwhenyou’rehandlingafirearm.iput

thegunbackandfindthescissors.retrievingthemquickly,iboltbackto

christian,myheadbuzzing.taylorandmrs.jones...therevolver...atthe

entrancetothegreatroom,irunintotaylor.

“mrs.grey,excuseme.”hisfacereddensashequicklytakesinmyattire.

“um,taylor,hi...um.i’mcuttingchristian’shair!”iblurtout,embarrassed.

taylorisasmortifiedasiam.heopenshismouthtosaysomethingthen

closesitquicklyandstandsaside.

“afteryou,ma’am,”hesaysformally.ithinki’mthecolorofmyoldaudi,the

submissivespecial.jeez.couldthisbemoreembarrassing?

“thankyou,”imutteranddashdownthehallway.crap!willievergetusedto

thefactthatwe’renotalone?idashintothebathroom,breathless.

168|page

eljames

“what’swrong?”christianisstandinginfrontofthemirror,holdingmyshoes.

allofmyscatteredclothesarenowneatlypiledbesidethesink.

“ijustranintotaylor.”

“oh.”christianfrowns.“dressedlikethat.”

ohshit!“that’snottaylor’sfault.”

christian’sfrowndeepens.“no.butstill.”

“i’mdressed.”

“barely.”

“idon’tknowwhowasmoreembarrassed,meorhim.”itrymydistraction

technique.“didyouknowheandgailare...well,together?”

christianlaughs.“yes,ofcourseiknew.”

“andyounevertoldme?”

“ithoughtyouknew,too.”

“no.”

“ana,they’readults.theyliveunderthesameroof.bothunattached.both

attractive.”

iflush,feelingfoolishfornotha一vingnoticed.

“well,ifyouputitlikethat...ijustthoughtgailwasolderthantaylor.”“she

is,butnotbymuch.”hegazesatme,perplexed.“somemenlikeolder

women—”hestopsabruptlyandhiseyeswiden.iscowlathim.“iknowthat,”

isnap.

christianlookscontrite.hesmilesfondlyatme.yes!mydistraction

techniquesuccessful!mysubconsciousrollshereyesatme—butatwhat

cost?nowtheunmentionablemrs.robinsonisloomingoverus.

“thatremindsme,”hesays,brightly.

“what?”imutterpetulantly.grabbingthechair,iturnittofacethemirror

abovethesinks.“sit,”iorder.christianregardsmewithindulgent

amusement,butdoesashe’stoldandsitsbackdowninthechair.istartto

combthroughhisnowmerelydamphair.

“iwasthinkingwecouldconverttheroomsoverthegaragesforthematthe

newplace,”christiancontinues.“makeitahome.thenmaybetaylor’s

daughtercouldstaywithhimmoreoften.”hewatchesmecarefullyinthe

mirror.

“whydoesn’tshestayhere?”

16一9|page

fiftyshadesfreed

“taylor’sneveraskedme.”

“perhapsyoushouldoffer.butwe’dha一vetobeha一veourselves.”

christian’sbrowfurrows.“ihadn’tthoughtofthat.”

“perhapsthat’swhytaylorhasn’tasked.ha一veyoumether?”

“yes.she’sasweetthing.shy.verypretty.ipayforherschooling.”

oh!istopcombingandstareathiminthemirror.

“ihadnoidea.”

heshrugs.“seemedtheleasticoulddo.also,itmeanshewon’tquit.”

“i’msurehelikesworkingforyou.”

christianstaresatmeblanklythenshrugs.“idon’tknow.”

“ithinkhe’sveryfondofyou,christian.”iresumecombingandglanceathim.

hiseyesdon’tlea一vemine.

“youthink?”

“yes.ido.”

hesnorts,adismissiveyetcontentsound,asifhe’ssecretlypleasedthathis

staffmaylikehim.

“good.willyoutalktogiaabouttheroomsoverthegarage?”

“yes,ofcourse.”idon’tfeelthesameirritationididbeforeatthementionof

hername.mysubconsciousnodssagelyatme.yes...wedonegood

today.myinnergoddessgloats.nowshe’lllea一vemyhusbandaloneandnot

makehimuncomfortable.

iamreadytocutchristian’shair.“yousureaboutthis?yourlastchanceto

bail.”

“doyourworst,mrs.grey.idon’tha一vetolookatme,youdo.”

igrin.“christian,icouldlookatyouallday.”

heshakeshisheadexasperated.“it’sjustaprettyface,baby.”

“andbehinditisaveryprettyman.”ikisshistemple.“myman.”

hegrinsshyly.

liftingthefirstlock,icombitupwardandsnareitbetweenmyindexand

middlefinger.iputthecombinmymouth,takethescissorsandmakethe

firstsnip,cuttinganinchoffthelength.christiancloseshiseyesandsitslike

astatue,sighingcontentedlyasicontinue.occasionallyheopenshiseyes,

andicatchhimwatchingmeintently.hedoesn’ttouchmewhileiwork,and

i’mgrateful.histouchis...distracting.

170|page

eljames

fifteenminuteslater,i’mdone.

“finished.”i’mpleasedwiththeresult.helooksashotasever,hishairstill

floppyandsexy...justabitshorter.christiangazesathimselfinthemirror,

lookingpleasantlysurprised.hegrins.“greatjob,mrs.grey.”heturnshis

headfromsidetosideandsnakeshisarmaroundme.pullingmetohim,he

kissesandnuzzlesmybelly.

“thankyou,”hesays.

“mypleasure.”ibendandkisshimbriefly.

“it’slate.bed.”hegivesmybehindaplayfulslap.

“ah!ishouldcleanupinhere.”thereishairalloverthefloor.christian

frowns,asifthethoughtwouldneverha一veoccurredtohim.“okay,i’llgetthe

broom,”hesayswryly.“idon’twantyouembarrassingthestaffwithyourlack

ofappropriateattire.”

“doyouknowwherethebroomis?”iaskinnocently.thisstopschristianin

histracks.“um...no.”

ilaugh.“i’llgo.”

\asiclimbintobedandwaitforchristiantojoinme,ireflectonhow

differentlythisdaycouldha一veended.iwassomadathimearlier,andhe

withme.howamigoingtodealwiththisrunning-a-companynonsense?i

ha一venodesiretorunmyowncompany.iamnothim.ineedtoheadthisoff

atthepass.perhapsishouldha一veasafewordforwhenhe’sbeing

overbearinganddomineering...forwhenhe’sbeinganarse.igiggle.

perhapsthesafewordshouldbearse.ifindthethoughtveryappealing.

“what?”hesaysasheclimbsintobedbesidemewearingonlyhispajama

pants.

“nothing.justanidea.”

“whatidea?”heasks,stretchingoutbesideme.

heregoesnothing.“christian,idon’tthinkiwanttorunacompany.”

hepropshimselfuponhiselbowandgazesdownatme.“whydoyousay

that?”

“becauseit’snotsomethingthathaseverappealedtome.”

“you’remorethancapable,anastasia.”

171|page

fiftyshadesfreed

“iliketoreadbooks,christian.runningacompanywilltakemeawayfrom

that.”

“youcouldbethecreativehead.”

ifrown.

“yousee,”hecontinues,“runningasuccessfulcompanyisallabout

embracingthetalentoftheinpidualsyouha一veatyourdisposal.ifthat’s

whereyourtalentsandyourinterestslie,thenyoustructurethecompanyto

enablethat.”

what?

“don’tdismissitoutofhand,anastasia.you’reaverycapablewoman.i

thinkyoucoulddoanythingyouwantedifyouputyourmindtoit.”

whoa?howcanhepossiblyknowthati’dbeanygoodatthis?

“i’malsoworrieditwilltakeuptoomuchofmytime.”

christianfrowns.

“timeicoulddevotetoyou.”ideploymysecretweapon.hisgazedarkens.“i

knowwhatyou’redoing,”hemurmurs,amused.

damnit!

“what?”ifeigninnocence.

“you’retryingtodistractmefromtheissueathand.youalwaysdothat.just

don’tdismisstheidea,ana.thinkaboutit.that’salliask.”

heleansdownandkissesmechastely,thenskimshisthumbdownmy

cheek.thisargumentisgoingtorunandrun.ismileupathim—and

somethinghesaidearliertodaypopsunbiddenintomymind.

“caniaskyousomething?”myvoiceissoft,tentative.

“ofcourse.”

“earliertodayyousaidifiwasangrywithyou,ishouldtakeitoutonyouin

bed.whatdidyoumean?”

hestills.“whatdidyouthinkimeant?”

holyshit...ishouldjustsayit.“thatyouwantedmetotieyouup.”

hiseyebrowsshootupinsurprise.“um...no.that’snotwhatimeantatall.”

“oh.”i’msurprisedbymyslighttwingeofdisappointment.

“youwanttotiemeup?”heasks,obviouslyreadingmyexpressioncorrectly.

hesoundsshocked.iblush.

172|page

eljames

“well...”

“ana,i...”hestops,andsomethingdarkcrosseshisface.

“christian,”iwhisper,alarmed.imovesothatiamlyingonmyside,propped

uponmyelbowlikehim.reachingover,icaresshisface.hiseyesarelarge

andfearful.heshakeshisheadsadly.shit!

“christian,stop.itdoesn’tmatter.ithoughtthat’swhatyoumeant.”

hetakesmyhandandplacesitonhispoundingheart.fuck!whatisit?

“ana,idon’tknowhowi’dfeelaboutyoutouchingmeifiwasrestrained.”

myscalpprickles.it’slikehe’sconfessingsomethingdeepanddark.

“thisisstilltoonew.”hisvoiceislowandraw.

fuck.itwasjustaquestion...andirealizethathe’scomealongway,buthe

stillhasalongwaytogo.oh,fifty,fifty,fifty.anxietygripsmyheart.ilean

overandhefreezes,butiplantasoftkissatthecornerofhismouth.

“christian,igotthewrongidea.pleasedon’tworryaboutit.pleasedon’t

thinkaboutit.”ikisshim.hecloseshiseyesandgroansandreciprocates,

pushingmedownintothemattress,hishandsclaspingmychin.andsoon

we’relost...lostineachotheragain.

173|page

fiftyshadesfreed