chaptereight

giamatteoisagood-lookingwoman—atall,good-lookingwoman.she

wearshershort,salon-blond,perfectlylayeredandcoiffedhairlikea

sophisticatedcrown.she’sdressedinapalegraypantsuit;theslacksand

fittedjackethugherlushcurves.herclotheslookexpensive.atthebaseof

herthroat,asolitarydiamondglints,matchingthesinglecaratstudsinher

ears.sheiswellgroomed—oneofthosewomenwhogrewupwithmoney

andbreeding,thoughherbreedingseemstobelackingthisevening;her

paleblueblouseisundonetoofar.likemine.iflush.

“christian.ana.”shebeams,showingperfectwhiteteeth,andholdsouta

manicuredhandtoshakefirstchristian’s,thenmyhand.itmeansiha一veto

releasechristian’shandtoreciprocate.she’safractionshorterthan

christian,butthenshe’sinkillerheels.

“gia,”christiansayspolitely.ismilecoolly.

“youbothlooksowellafteryourhoneymoon,”shesayssmoothly,herbrown

eyesgazingatchristianthroughlongmascaraedlashes.christianputshis

armaroundme,holdingmeclose.

“wehadawonderfultime,thankyou.”hebrusheshislipsagainstmytemple,

takingmebysurprise.

see...he’smine.annoying—infuriating,even—butmine.igrinupathim.

rightnowireallyloveyou,christiangrey.islipmyhandaroundhiswaist

thenintohisrearpocketofhispantsandsqueezehisbehind.giagivesusa

thinsmile.

“ha一veyoumanagedtolookovertheplans?”

“weha一ve,”imurmur.igazeupatchristian,whogrinsdownatme,one

eyebrowraisedinwryamusement.amusedatwhat?myreactiontogiaor

mesqueezinghisbutt?

“please,”christiansays.“theplansarehere.”hegesturestowardthedining

table.takingmyhand,heleadsmetoit,giafollowinginourwake.ifinally

remembermymanners.

“wouldyoulikesomethingtodrink?”iask.“aglassofwine?”

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fiftyshadesfreed

“thatwouldbelovely,”giasays.“drywhiteifyouha一veit.”

shit!sauvignonblanc—that’sadrywhite,isn’tit?reluctantlylea一vingmy

husband’sside,iheadovertothekitchen.iheartheipodhissaschristian

switchesoffthemusic.

“wouldyoulikesomemorewine,christian?”icall.

“please,baby,”hecroons,grinningatme.wow,hecanbesoswoonworthy

attimesyetsoaggra一vatingatothers.

reachinguptoopenthecupboard,i’mawarehiseyesareonme,andi’m

grippedbytheuncannyfeelingthatchristianandiareputtingonashow,

playingagametogether—butthistimewe’reonthesamesidepitted

againstms.matteo.doesheknow?doesheknowthatshe’sattractedto

himandisbeingtooobviousaboutit?itgivesmeasmallrushofpleasure

whenirealizemaybehe’stryingtoreassureme.ormaybehe’sjustsending

amessageloudandcleartothiswomanthathe’staken.

mine.yeah,bitch—mine.myinnergoddessiswearinghergladiatrixoutfit,

andshe’stakingnoprisoners.smilingtomyselficollectthreeglassesfrom

thecupboard,taketheopenedbottleofsauvignonblancfromthefridge,and

placethemallonthebreakfastbar.giaisleaningoverthetablewhile

christianstandsbesideherandpointsatsomethingontheplans.

“ithinkanahassomeopinionsontheglasswall,butgenerallywe’reboth

pleasedwiththeideasyou’vecomeupwith.”

“oh,i’mglad,”giagushes,obviouslyrelieved,andasshesaysitshe

reachesouttobrieflytouchhisarminasmall,flirtygesture.christian

immediatelystiffenssub一tly.shedoesn’tevenseemtonotice.

lea一vehimthefuckalone,lady.hedoesn’tliketobetouched.stepping

casuallyasidesohe’soutofherreach,christianturnstome.“thirstyhere,”

hesays.

“comingrightup.”heisplayingthegame.shemakeshimuncomfortable.

whydidn’tiseethatbefore?that’swhyidon’tlikeher.he’susedtohow

womenreacttohim.i’veseenitoftenenough,andusuallyhethinksnothing

ofit.touchingissomethingelse.well,mrs.greytotherescue.

ihastilypourthewine,gatherallthreeglassesinmyhandsandhurrybackto

myknightindistress.offeringaglasstogia,ideliberatelypositionmyself

betweenthem.shesmilescourteouslyas148|page

eljames

sheacceptsit.ihandthesecondtochristian,whotakesiteagerly,his

expressiononeofamusedgratitude.

“cheers,”christiansaystousboth,butlookingatme.giaandiraiseour

glassesandanswerinunison.itakeawelcomesipofwine.

“ana,youha一vesomeissueswiththeglasswall?”giaasks.

“yes.iloveit—don’tgetmewrong.butiwashopingthatwecould

incorporateitmoresympatheticallyintothehouse.afterall,ifellinlovewith

thehouseasitwas,andidon’twanttomakeanyradicalchanges.”

“isee.”

“ijustwantittobemoresympathetic.moreinkeepingwiththeoriginal

house.”iglanceupatchristian,whoisgazingatmethoughtfully.

“nomajorrenovations?”hemurmurs.

“no.”ishakemyheadtoemphasizemypoint.

“youlikeitasitis?”

“mostly,yes.ialwaysknewitjustneededsometlc.”

christian’seyesglowwarmly.

giaglancesatthepairofus,andhercheekspink.“okay,”shesays.

“ithinkigetwhereyou’recomingfrom,ana.howaboutifweretaintheglass

wall,butha一veitopenoutontoalargerdeckthat’sinkeepingwiththe

mediterraneanstyle.weha一vethestoneterracetherealready.wecanputin

pillarsinmatchingstone,widelyspacedsoyou’llstillha一vetheview.adda

glassroof,ortileitaspertherestofthehouse.it’llalsomakeashelteredal

frescodiningandseatedarea.”

gottogivethewomanherdue...she’sgood.

“orinsteadofthedeck,wecouldincorporateawoodcolorofyourchoice

intotheglassdoors—thatmighthelptokeepthemediterraneanspirit,”she

continues.

“likethebrightblueshuttersinthesouthoffrance,”imurmurtochristian,

whoiswatchingmeintently.hetakesasipofwineandshrugs,very

noncommittal.hmm.hedoesn’tlikethatideabuthedoesn’toverruleme,

shoutmedownormakemefeelstupid.god,thismanisamassof

contradictions.hiswordsfromyesterdaycometomind:“iwantthishouseto

bethewayyouwant.whateveryouwant.it’syours.”hewantsmetobe

happy—happyineverythingido.deep149|page

fiftyshadesfreed

downithinkiknowthis.it’sjust—istopmyself.don’tthinkaboutour

argumentnow.mysubconsciousglaresatme.giaislookingatchristian,

waitingforhimtomakethedecision.iwatchasherpupilsdilateandher

glossedlipspart.hertonguedartsquicklyoverhertoplipbeforeshetakesa

sipofherwine.wheniturntochristian,he’sstilllookingatme—notatherat

all.yes!myinnergoddessfistpumpstheair.iamgoingtoha一vewordswith

ms.matteo.

“ana,whatdoyouwanttodo?”christianmurmurs,veryclearlydeferringto

me.

“ilikethedeckidea.”

“me,too.”

iturnbacktogia.hey,lady,lookatme,nothim.i’mtheonemakingthe

decisionsonthis.“ithinki’dliketoseereviseddrawingsshowingthebigger

deckandpillarsthatareinkeepingwiththehouse.”

reluctantly,giadragshergreedyeyesawayfrommyhusbandandsmiles

downatme.doesshethinki’mnotgoingtonotice?

“sure,”sheacquiescespleasantly.“anyotherissues?”

otherthanyoueye-fuckingmyhusband?“christianwantstoremodelthe

mastersuite,”imurmur.

there’sadiscreetcoughfromtheentrancetothegreatroom.wethreeturn

asonetofindtaylorstandingthere.

“taylor?”christianasks.

“ineedtoconferwithyouonanurgentmatter,mr.grey.”

christianclaspsmyshouldersfrombehindandaddressesgia.

“mrs.greyisinchargeofthisproject.shehasabsolutecarteblanche.

whatevershewants,it’shers.icompletelytrustherinstincts—she’svery

shrewd.”hisvoicealterssub一tly.initihearprideandaveiledwarning—a

warningtogia?

hetrustsmyinstincts?oh,thisman’sexasperating.myinstinctslethimrun

roughshodovermyfeelingsthisafternoon.ishakemyheadinfrustrationbut

i’mgratefulthathe’stellingmissprovocative-andunfortunately-good-at-her-

jobjustwho’sincharge.reachingup,icaresshishandasitrestsonmy

shoulder.

“ifyou’llexcuseme.”christiansqueezesmyshouldersbeforefollowing

taylor.iwonderidlywhat’sgoingon.

“so—themastersuite?”giaasksnervously.

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eljames

igazeupather,pausingforamomenttoensurethatchristianandtaylor

areoutofearshot.thencallingonallmyinnerstrengthandthefactthati’ve

beenseriouslypiquedforthelastfivehours,iletherha一veit.

“you’rerighttobenervous,gia,becauserightnowyourworkonthisproject

hangsinthebalance.buti’msurewe’llbefineaslongasyoukeepyour

handsoffmyhusband.”

shegasps.

“otherwise,you’refired.understand?”ienunciateeachwordclearly.

sheblinksrapidly,utterlystunned.shecannotbelievewhati’vesaid.i

cannotbelievewhati’vejustsaid.butiholdmyground,gazingimpassively

intoherwideningbrowneyes.

don’tbackdown.don’tbackdown!i’velearnedthismaddeningimpassive

expressionfromchristianwhodoesimpassivelikenooneelse.iknowthat

renovatingthegreys’mainresidenceisaprestigiousprojectforgia’s

architecturalfirm—aresplendentfeatherinhercap.shecan’tlosethis

commission.andrightnowidon’tgiveahootthatshe’selliot’sfriend.

“ana—mrs.grey—i—i’msosorry.inever—”sheflushes,unsurewhatelse

shecansay.

“letmebeclear.myhusbandisnotinterestedinyou.”

“ofcourse,”shemurmurs,theblooddrainingfromherface.

“asisaid,ijustwantedtobeclear.”

“mrs.grey,isincerelyapologizeifyouthink...iha一ve—”shestops,still

flounderingforsomethingtosay.

“good.aslongasweunderstandeachother,we’llbefine.now,i’llletyou

knowwhatweha一veinmindforthemastersuite,theni’dlikearundownonall

thematerialsyouintendtouse.asyouknow,christianandiaredetermined

thatthishouseshouldbeecologicallysustainable,andi’dliketoreassure

himastowhereallthematerialsarecomingfromandwhattheyare.”

“ofcourse,”shestutters,wide-eyedandfranklyalittleintimidatedbyme.

thisisafirst.myinnergoddessrunsaroundthearena,wa一vingtothe

frenziedcrowd.

giapatsherhairintoplace,andirealizethisisanervousgesture.151|pa

ge

fiftyshadesfreed

“themastersuite?”shepromptsanxiously,hervoiceabreathlesswhisper.

nowthatiha一vetheupperhand,ifeelmyselfrelaxforthefirsttimesincemy

meetingwithchristianthisafternoon.icandothis.myinnergoddessis

celebratingherinnerbitch.

christianjoinsusjustaswearefinishingup.

“alldone?”heasks.heputshisarmaroundmywaistandturnstogia.

“yes,mr.grey,”giasmilesbrightly,thoughhersmilelooksbrittle.

“i’llha一vetherevisedplanstoyouinacoupleofdays.”

“excellent.you’rehappy?”heasksmedirectly,hiseyeswarmandprobing.i

nodandblushforsomereasonthatidon’tunderstand.

“i’dbetterbegoing,”giasaysagaintoobrightly.sheoffersherhandtome

firstthistime,thentochristian.

“untilnexttime,gia,”imurmur.

“yes,mrs.grey.mr.grey.”

taylorappearsattheentranceofthegreatroom.

“taylorwillseeyouout.”myvoiceisloudenoughforhimtohear.pattingher

haironcemore,sheturnsonherhighheelsandlea一vesthegreatroom,

followedcloselybytaylor.

“shewasnoticeablycooler,”christiansays,lookingquizzicallyatme.

“wasshe?ididn’tnotice.”ishrug,tryingtoremainneutral.“whatdidtaylor

want?”iaskpartlybecausei’mcuriousandpartlybecauseiwanttochange

thesubject.

frowning,christianreleasesmeandbeginstorolluptheplansonthetable.

“itwasabouthyde.”

“whatabouthyde?”iwhisper.

“it’snothingtoworryabout,ana.”abandoningtheplans,christiandrawsme

intohisarms.“itturnsouthehasn’tbeeninhisapartmentforweeks,that’s

all.”hekissesmyhair,thenreleasesmeandfinisheshistask.

oh.

“sowhatdidyoudecideon?”heasks,andiknowit’sbecausehedoesn’t

wantmetopursuethehydelineofinquiry.152|page

eljames

“onlywhatyouandidiscussed.ithinkshelikesyou,”isayquietly.

hesnorts.“didyousaysomethingtoher?”heasksandiflush.howdoeshe

know?atalosswhattosay,istaredownatmyfingers.

“wewerechristianandanawhenshearrived,andmr.andmrs.greywhen

sheleft.”histoneisdry.

“imayha一vesaidsomething,”imumble.whenipeekupathimhe’s

regardingmewarmly,andforanunguardedmomenthelooks...pleased.

hedropshisgaze,shakinghishead,andhisexpressionchanges.

“she’sonlyreactingtothisface.”hesoundsvaguelybitter,disgustedeven.

ohfifty,no!

“what?”he’sbemusedbymyperplexedexpression.hiseyesgrowwidein

alarm.“you’renotjealous,areyou?”heasks,horrified.iflushandswallow,

thenstaredownatmyknottedfingers.ami?

“ana,she’sasexualpredator.notmytypeatall.howcanyoubejealousof

her?ofanyone?nothingaboutherinterestsme.”wheniglanceup,he’s

gapingatmeasifi’vegrownanadditionallimb.herunsahandthroughhis

hair.“it’sonlyyou,ana,”hesaysquietly.“itwillonlyeverbeyou.”

ohmy.abandoningtheplansoncemore,christianmovestowardmeand

claspsmychinbetweenhisthumbandforefinger.

“howcanyouthinkotherwise?ha一veievergivenyouanyindicationthati

couldberemotelyinterestedinanyoneelse?”hiseyesblazeashestares

intomine.

“no,”iwhisper.“i’mbeingsilly.it’sjusttoday...you...”allmyconflicting

emotionsfromearlierresurfaces.howcanitellhimhowconfusediam?i’ve

beenconfoundedandfrustratedbyhisbeha一viorthisafternooninmyoffice.

oneminutehewantsmetostayathome,thenexthe’sgiftingmea

company.howamisupposedtokeepup?

“whataboutme?”

“oh,christian”—mybottomliptrembles—“i’mtryingtoadapttothisnewlife

thatihadneverimaginedformyself.everythingisbeinghandedtomeona

plate—thejob,you,mybeautifulhusband,whoinever...ineverknewi’d

lovethisway,thishard,thisfast,this...indelibly.”itakeadeepsteadying

breath,ashismouthdropsopen.153|page

fiftyshadesfreed

“butyou’relikeafreighttrain,andidon’twanttogetrailroadedbecausethe

girlyoufellinlovewithwillbecrushed.andwhat’llbeleft?allthatwouldbe

leftisavacuoussocialx-ray,flittingfromcharityfunctiontocharityfunction.”i

pauseoncemore,strugglingtofindthewordstoconveyhowifeel.“andnow

youwantmetobeacompanyceo,whichhasneverevenbeenonmy

radar.i’mbouncingbetweenalltheseideas,struggling.youwantmeat

home.youwantmetorunacompany.it’ssoconfusing.”istop,tears

threatening,andiforcebackasob.

“you’vegottoletmemakemyowndecisions,takemyownrisks,andmake

myownmistakes,andletmelearnfromthem.ineedtowalkbeforeicanrun,

christian,don’tyousee.iwantsomeindependence.that’swhatmyname

meanstome.”there,that’swhatiwantedtosaythisafternoon.

“youfeelrailroaded?”hewhispers.

inod.

hecloseshiseyesandrunshishandthroughhishairinagitation.“ijustwant

togiveyoutheworld,ana,everythingandanythingyouwant.andsa一veyou

fromit,too.keepyousafe.butialsowanteveryonetoknowyou’remine.i

panickedtodaywhenigotyouremail.whydidn’tyoutellmeaboutyour

name?”

iflush.hehasapoint.

“ionlythoughtaboutitwhilewewereonourhoneymoon,andwell,ididn’t

wanttoburstthebubble,andiforgotaboutit.ionlyrememberedyesterday

evening.andthenjack...youknow,itwasdistracting.i’msorry,ishould

ha一vetoldyouordiscusseditwithyou,buticouldneverseemtofindtheright

time.”

christian’sintensegazeisunnerving.it’sasifhe’stryingtowillhiswayinto

myskull,buthesaysnothing.

“whydidyoupanic?”iask.

“ijustdon’twantyoutoslipthroughmyfingers.”

“forhea一ven’ssake,i’mnotgoinganywhere.whenareyougoingtogetthat

throughyourincrediblythickskull?i.love.you.”iwa一vemy154|page

eljames

handintheairlikehedoessometimestoemphasizemypoint.“morethan..

.eyesight,space,orliberty.”1

hiseyeswiden.“adaughter’slove?”hegivesmeanironicsmile.

“no,”ilaugh,despitemyself.“it’stheonlyquotethatcametomind.”

“madkinglear?”

“dear,dearmadkinglear.”ireachupandcaresshisface,andheleans

intomytouch,closinghiseyes.“wouldyouchangeyournametochristian

steelesoeveryonewouldknowthatyoubelongtome?”

christian’seyesflyopen,andhegazesatmeasifi’vejustsaidtheworldis

flat.hefrowns.“belongtoyou?”hemurmurs,testingthewords.

“mine.”

“yours,”hesays,repeatingthewordswespokeintheplayroomonly

yesterday.“yes,iwould.ifitmeantthatmuchtoyou.”

ohmy.

“doesitmeanthatmuchtoyou?”

“yes.”heisunequivocal.

“okay.”iwilldothisforhim.givehimthereassurancehestillneeds.

“ithoughtyou’dalreadyagreedtothis.”

“yesiha一ve,butnowwe’vediscusseditfurther,i’mhappierwithmydecision.”

“oh,”hemutters,surprised.thenhesmileshisbeautiful,boyishyes-i-amreally-

kinda-youngsmile,andhetakesmybreathaway.grabbingmebymy

waist,heswingsmearound.isquealandstarttogiggle,andidon’tknowif

he’sjusthappyorrelievedor...what?

“mrs.grey,doyouknowwhatthismeanstome?”

“idonow.”

heleansdownandkissesme,hisfingersmovingintomyhair,holdingmein

place.

“itmeanssevenshadesofsunday,”hemurmursagainstmylips,andheruns

hisnosealongmine.

“youthink?”ileanbacktogazeathim.

1craig,w.j.,ed.“kinglear.”thecompleteworksofwilliam

shakespeare.scene1,act1.newyork:randomhousevaluepublishing:

1997.155|page

fiftyshadesfreed

“certainpromisesweremade.anofferextended,adealbrokered,”

hewhispers,hiseyessparklingwithwickeddelight.

“um...”iamstillreeling,tryingtofollowhismood.

“yourenegingonme?”heasksuncertainly,andaspeculativelookcrosses

hisface.“iha一veanidea,”headds.

oh,whatkinkyfuckeryisthis?

“areallyimportantmattertoattendto,”hecontinues,suddenlyallserious

oncemore.“yes,mrs.grey.amatterofthegra一vestimportance.”

hangon—he’slaughingatme.

“what?”ibreathe.

“ineedyoutocutmyhair.apparentlyit’soverlong,andmywifedoesn’tlike

it.”

“ican’tcutyourhair!”

“yesyoucan.”christiangrinsandshakeshisheadsohisoverlonghair

covershiseyes.

“well,ifmrs.joneshasapuddingbowl.”igiggle.helaughs.“okay,good

pointwellmade.i’llgetfrancotodoit.”

what?no!francoworksforher?maybeicouldgivehimatrim.afterall,i

cutray’shairforyears,andhenevercomplained.

“come.”igrabhishand.hiseyeswiden.ileadhimallthewaytoour

bathroomwhereireleasehimandgrabthewhitewoodenchairthatstandsin

thecorner.iplaceitinfrontofthesink.whenilookatchristian,he’sgazing

atmewithill-disguisedamusement,thumbstuckedinthefrontbeltloopsof

hispantsbuthiseyesaresmokinghot.

“sit.”igesturetotheemptychair,tryingtomaintaintheupperhand.

“areyougoingtowashmyhair?”

inod.hearchesonebrowinsurprise,andforamomentithinkhe’sgoingto

backdown.“okay.”slowlyhebeginstoundoeachbuttonofhiswhiteshirt,

startingwiththeonebeneathhisthroat.nimble,deftfingersmovetoeach

buttoninturnuntilhisshirthangsopen.ohmy...myinnergoddesspauses

inhercelebratoryjauntaroundthearena.

christianholdsoutacuffwithan“undothisnow”gesture,andhismouth

twitchesinthatchallenging,sexywayhehas.156|page

eljames

oh,cufflinks.itakehisprofferedwristandremovethefirstone,aplatinum

discwithhisinitialsengra一vedinasimpleitalicscript—andthenremoveits

matchingtwin.asifinishiglanceathim,andhisamusedexpressionis

gone,replacedbysomethinghotter...muchhotter.ireachupandpushhis

shirtoffhisshoulders,lettingitfalltothefloor.

“ready?”iwhisper.

“forwhateveryouwant,ana.”

myeyesstrayfromhiseyestohislips.partedsothathecaninhalemore

deeply.sculptured,chiseled,whatever,itisabeautifulmouthandheknows

exactlywhattodowithit.ifindmyselfleaninguptokisshim.

“no,”hesaysandplacesbothofhishandsonmyshoulders.“don’t.ifyoudo

that,i’llnevergetmyhaircut.”

oh!

“iwantthis,”hecontinues.andhiseyesareroundandrawforsome

inexplicablereason.it’sdisarming.

“why?”iwhisper.

hestaresatmeforabeat,andhiseyesgrowwider.“becauseit’llmakeme

feelcherished.”

myheartpracticallylurchestoahalt.oh,christian...myfifty.andbeforei

knowiti’vecircledhiminmyarms,andikisshischestbeforenuzzlingmy

cheekintohisticklychesthair.

“ana.myana,”hewhispers.hewrapshisarmsaroundmeandwestand

immobile,holdingeachotherinourbathroom.oh,howilovetobeinhis

arms.evenifheisanoverbearing,megalomaniacarse,he’smy

overbearingmegalomaniacarseinneedofalifetimedoseoftlc.ilean

backwithoutreleasinghim.

“youreallywantmetodothis?”

henodsandgivesmehisshysmile.igrinbackathimandstepoutofhis

embrace.

“thensit,”irepeat.

hedutifullydoes,sittingwithhisbacktothesink.itakeoffmyshoesandkick

themovertowherehisshirtliescrumpledonthebathroomfloor.fromthe

showeriretrievehisshampoo:chanel.weboughtitinfrance.

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fiftyshadesfreed

“wouldsirlikethis?”iholditupinbothhandslikei’msellingitonqvc.

“hand-deliveredfromthesouthoffrance.ilikethesmellofthis...itsmells

ofyou,”iaddinawhisper,slippingoutofmytelevisionpresentermode.

“please.”hegrins.

igrabasmalltoweloffthetowelwarmer.mrs.jonessureknowshowto

keepthetowelssuper-soft.

“leanforward,”iorderandchristiancomplies.drapingthetowelaroundhis

shoulders,ithenturnonthetapsandfillthesinkwithamixofwarmwater.

“leanback.”oh,ilikebeingincharge.christianleansback,buthe’stootall.

heshiftstheseatforwardthentiltsbacktheentirechairuntilthetoprests

againstthesink.perfectdistance.hetipsbackhishead.boldeyesgazeup

atme,andismiledownathim.takingoneofthedrinkingglasseswekeep

onthevanity,idipitintothewaterandtipitoverchristian’shead,soaking

hishair.irepeattheprocess,leaningoverhim.

“yousmellsogood,mrs.grey,”hemurmursandcloseshiseyes.asi

methodicallywethishair,ifreelygazeathim.holycow.willievertireof

this?longdarklashesfanacrosshischeeks;hislipspartalittle,creatinga

small,darkdiamondshape,andheinhalessoftly.hmm...howilongto

pokemytongue—

isplashwaterintohiseyes.shit!“sorry!”

hegrabsthecornerofthetowelandlaughsashewipesthewateroutofhis

eyes.

“hey,iknowi’manarse,butdon’tdrownme.”

ileandownandkisshisforehead,giggling.“don’ttemptme.”

reachingup,hecurlshishandbehindmyheadandshiftssothathe

capturesmylipswithhis.hekissesmebriefly,makingalowcontented

soundinhisthroat.thenoiseconnectstothemusclesdeepinmybelly.it’sa

veryseductivesound.hereleasesmeandliesbackobediently,gazingupat

mewithexpectation.foramomenthelooksvulnerable,likeachild.ittugsat

myheart.

isquirtsomeshampoointomypalmandmassageitintohisscalp,

beginningathistemplesandworkingoverthetopofhisheadanddownthe

sides,circlingmyfingersrhythmically.hecloseshiseyesagainandmakes

thatlowhummingsoundagain.

158|page

eljames

“thatfeelsgood,”hesaysafteramomentandrelaxesbeneaththefirmtouch

ofmyfingers.

“yesitdoes.”ikisshisforeheadoncemore.

“ilikeitwhenyouscratchmyscalpwithyourfingernails.”hiseyesarestill

closedbuthisexpressiononeofblissfulcontentment—notraceofhis

vulnerabilityremains.jeez,howmuchhisexpressionhaschanged,andi

takecomfortknowingit’smethat’sdonethis.

“headup,”icommandandheobeys.hmmm—agirlcouldgetusedtothis.i

rubthesudsintothebackofhishair,scrapingmynailsintohisscalp.

“back.”

heleansback,andirinseoffthelather,usingtheglass.thistimeimanage

nottosplashhim.

“oncemore?”iask.

“please.”hiseyesflutteropenandhisserenegazefindsmine.igrindownat

him.

“comingrightup,mr.grey.”

iturntothesinkthatchristiannormallyusesandfillitwithwarmwater.

“forrinsing,”isaywhenhislookturnsquizzical.irepeattheprocesswiththe

shampoo,listeningtohisevendeepbreaths.oncehe’salllatheredup,itake

anothermomenttoappreciatethefinefaceofmyhusband.icannotresist

him.tenderly,icaresshischeek,andheopenshiseyes,watchingme

almostsleepilythroughhislonglashes.leaningforwardiplantasoft,chaste

kissonhislips.hesmiles,closeshiseyes,andbreathesoutasighofutter

contentment.jeez.whowouldha一vethoughtafterourargumentthisafternoon

hecouldbethisrelaxed?withoutsex?ileanrightoverhim.

“hmm,”hemurmursappreciativelyasmybreastsbrushhisface.resisting

theurgetoshimmy,ipulltheplugsothesudsywaterdrainsaway.hishands

movetomyhipsandaroundtomybehind.

“nofondlingthehelp,”imurmur,feigningdisapproval.

“don’tforgeti’mdeaf,”hesays,keepinghiseyesclosed,asherunshis

handsdownpastmybehindandstartstohitchupmyskirt.iswathisarm.i’m

enjoyingplayinghairdresser.hegrins,bigandboyish,likei’vecaughthim

doingsomethingillicitthathe’ssecretlyproudof.159|page

fiftyshadesfreed

ireachfortheglassagain,butthistimeusethewaterfromtheneighboring

sinktocarefullyrinsealltheshampoofromhishair.icontinuetoleanover

him,andhekeepshishandsonmybackside,thrumminghisfingersback

andforward,upanddown...backandforth...hmm.iwiggle.hegrowls

lowinhisthroat.

“there.allrinsed.”

“good,”hedeclares.hisfingerstightenonmybehind,andallatoncehesits

up,hissoakedhairdrippingalloverhim.hepullsmedownontohislap,his

handsmovingfrommybehinduptothenapeofmyneck,thentomychin,

holdingmeinplace.igaspwithsurpriseandhislipsareonmine,histongue

hotandhardinmymouth.myfingerscurlaroundhiswethair,anddropsof

waterrundownmyarms;andashedeepensthekiss,hishairbathesmy