thegunwasn’tpointedatme,hewasjustholdingit.itwasamedium-caliberautomatic,foreignmade,certainlynotacoltorasavage.withthewhitetiredfaceandthescarsandtheturned-upcollarandthepulled-downhatandthegunhecouldhavesteppedrightoutofanold-fashionedkick-em-in-the-teethgangstermovie.

“you’redrivingmetotijuanatogetaplaneattenfifteen,”hesaid.“ihaveapassportandvisaandi’mallsetexceptfortransportation.forcertainreasonsican’ttakeatrainorabusoraplanefromwouldfivehundredbucksbeareasonabletaxifare?”

istoodinthedoorwayanddidn’tmovetolethimin.“fivehundredplusthegat?”iasked.

helookeddownatitratherabsently.thenhedroppeditintohispocket.

“itmightbeaprotection,”hesaid,“foryou.notforme.”

“comeoninthen.”istoodtoonesideandhecameinwithanexhaustedlungeandfellintoachair.

thelivingroomwasstilldark,becauseoftheheavygrowthofshrubberytheownerhadallowedtomaskthewindows.iputalamponandmoochedacigarette.ilitit.istareddownathim.irumpledmyhairwhichwasalreadyrumpled.iputtheoldtiredgrinonmyface.

“whatthehell’sthematterwithmesleepingsuchalovelymorningaway?ten-fifteen,huh?well,there’splentyoftime.let’sgoouttothekitchenandi’llbrewsomecoffee.”

“i’minagreatdealoftrouble,shamus.”shamus,itwasthefirsttimehehadcalledmethat.butitkindofwentwithhisstyleofentry,thewayhewasdressed,thegunandall.

“it’sgoingtobeapeachofaday.lightbreeze.youcanhearthosetougholdeucalyptustreesacrossthestreetwhisperingtoeachother.talkingaboutoldtimesinaustraliawhenthewallabieshoppedaboutunderneaththebranchesandthekoalabearsrodepiggybackoneachother.yes,igotthegeneralideayouwereinsometrouble.let’stalkaboutitafteri’vehadacoupleofcupsofcoffee.i’malwaysalittlelightheadedwhenifirstwakeup.letusconferwithmr.hugginsandmr.young.”

“look,marlowe,thisisnotthetime—”

“fearnothing,oldboy.mr.hugginsandmr.youngaretwoofthebest.theymakehuggins-youngcoffee.it’stheirlifework,theirprideandjoy.oneofthesedaysi’mgoingtoseethattheygettherecognitiontheydeserve.sofarallthey’remakingismoney.youcouldn’texpectthattosatisfythem.”

ilefthimwiththatbrightchatterandwentouttothekitchenattheback.iturnedthehotwateronandgotthecoffeemakerdownofftheshelf.iwettherodandmeasuredthestuffintothetopandbythattimethewaterwassteaming.ifilledthelowerhalfofthedingusandsetitontheflame.isettheupperpartontopandgaveitatwistsoitwouldbind.

bythattimehehadcomeinafterme.heleanedinthedoorwayamomentandthenedgedacrosstothebreakfastnookandslidintotheseat.hewasstillshaking.igotabottleofoldgrand-dadofftheshelfandpouredhimashotinabigglass.iknewhewouldneedabigglass.evenwiththathehadtousebothhandstogetittohismouth.heswallowed,puttheglassdownwithathud,andhitthebackoftheseatwithajar.

“almostpassedout,”hemuttered.“seemslikei’vebeenupforaweek.didn’tsleepatalllastnight.”

thecoffeemakerwasalmostreadytobubble.iturnedtheflamelowandwatchedthewaterrise.ithungalittleatthebottomoftheglasstube.iturnedtheflameupjustenoughtogetitoverthehumpandthenturneditlowagainquickly.istirredthecoffeeandcoveredit.isetmytimerforthreeminutes.verymethodicalguy,marlowe.nothingmustinterferewithhiscoffeetechnique.notevenaguninthehandofadesperatecharacter.

ipouredhimanotherslug.“justsitthere,”isaid.“don’tsayaword.justsit.”

hehandledthesecondslugwithonehand.ididafastwash-upinthebathroomandthebellofthetimerwentjustasigotback.icuttheflameandsetthecoffeemakeronastrawmatonthetable.whydidigointosuchdetail?becausethechargedatmospheremadeeverylittlethingstandoutasaperformance,amovementdistinctandvastlyimportant.itwasoneofthosehypersensitivemomentswhenallyourautomaticmovements,howeverlongestablished,howeverhabitual,becomeseparateactsofwill.youarelikeamanlearningtowalkafterpolio.youtakenothingforgranted,absolutelynothingatall.

thecoffeewasalldownandtheairrushedinwithitsusualfussandthecoffeebubbledandthenbecamequiet.iremovedthetopofthemakerandsetitonthedrainboardinthesocketofthecover.

ipouredtwocupsandaddedaslugtohis.“blackforyou,terry.”iaddedtwolumpsofsugarandsomecreamtomine.iwascomingoutofitbynow.iwasn’tconsciousofhowiopenedthefrigandgotthecreamcarton.

isatdownacrossfromhim.hehadn’tmoved.hewasproppedinthecornerofthenook,rigid.thenwithoutwarninghisheadcamedownonthetableandhewassobbing.

hedidn’tpayanyattentionwhenireachedacrossanddugthegunoutofhispocket.itwasamauser7.65,abeauty.isniffedit.isprangthemagazineloose.itwasfull.nothinginthebreach.

heliftedhisheadandsawthecoffeeanddranksomeslowly,notlookingatme.“ididn’tshootanybody,”hesaid.

“well—notrecentlyanyhow.andthegunwouldhavehadtobecleaned.ihardlythinkyoushotanybodywiththis.”

“i’lltellyouaboutit,”hesaid.

“waitjustaminute.”idrankmycoffeeasquicklyastheheatwouldletme.irefilledmycup.“it’slikethis,”isaid.“beverycarefulwhatyoutellme.ifyoureallywantmetorideyoudowntotijuana,therearetwothingsimustnotbetold.one—areyoulistening?”

henoddedveryslightly.hewaslookingblank-eyedatthewallovermyhead.thescarswereverylividthismorning.hisskinwasalmostdeadwhitebutthescarsseemedtoshineoutofitjustthesame.

“one,”irepeatedslowly,“ifyouhavecommittedacrimeoranythingthelawcallsacrime—aseriouscrime,imean—ican’tbetoldaboutit.two,ifyouhaveessentialknowledgethatsuchacrimehasbeencommitted,ican’tbetoldaboutthateither.notifyouwantmetodriveyoutotijuana.thatclear?”

helookedmeintheeye.hiseyesfocused,buttheywerelifeless.hehadthecoffeeinsidehim.hehadnocolor,buthewassteady.ipouredhimsomemoreandloadeditthesameway.

“itoldyouiwasinajam,”hesaid.

“iheardyou.idon’twanttoknowwhatkindofjam.ihavealivingtoearn,alicensetoprotect.”

“icouldholdthegunonyou,”hesaid.

igrinnedandpushedthegunacrossthetable.helookeddownatitbutdidn’ttouchit.

“nottotijuanayoucouldn’tholditonme,terry.notacrosstheborder,notupthestepsintoaplane.i’mamanwhooccasionallyhasbusinesswithguns.we’llforgetaboutthegun.i’dlookgreattellingthecopsiwassoscaredijusthadtodowhatyoutoldmeto.supposing,ofcourse,whichidon’tknow,thattherewasanythingtotellthecops.”

“listen,”hesaid,“itwillbenoonorevenlaterbeforeanybodyknocksatthedoor.thehelpknowsbetterthantodisturbherwhenshesleepslate.butbyaboutnoonhermaidwouldknockandgoin.shewouldn’tbeinherroom.”

isippedmycoffeeandsaidnothing.

“themaidwouldseethatherbedhadn’tbeensleptin,”hewenton.“thenshewouldthinkofanotherplacetolook.there’sabigguesthouseprettyfarbackfromthemainhouse.ithasitsowndrivewayandgarageandsoon.sylviaspentthenightthere.themaidwouldeventuallyfindherthere.”

ifrowned.“i’vegottobeverycarefulwhatquestionsiaskyou,terry.couldn’tshehavespentthenightawayfromhome?”

“herclotheswouldbethrownalloverherroom.sheneverhangsanythingup.themaidwouldknowshehadputarobeoverherpajamasandgoneoutthatway.soitwouldonlybetotheguesthouse.”

“notnecessarily,”isaid.

“itwouldbetotheguesthouse.hell,doyouthinktheydon’tknowwhatgoesonintheguesthouse?servantsalwaysknow.”

“passit,”isaid.

heranafingerdownthesideofhisgoodcheekhardenoughtoleavearedstreak.“andintheguesthouse,”hewentonslowly,“themaidwouldfind—”

“sylviadeaddrunk,paralyzed,spifflicated,icedtotheeyebrows,”isaidharshly.

“oh.”hethoughtaboutit.bigthink.“ofcourse,”headded,“that’showitwouldbe.sylviaisnotasouse.whenshedoesgetovertheedgeit’sprettydrastic.”

“that’stheendofthestory,”isaid.“oralmost.letmeimprovise.thelasttimewedranktogetheriwasabitroughwithyou,walkedoutifyourecall.youirritatedthehelloutofme.thinkingitoverafterwardsicouldseethatyouwerejusttryingtosneeryourselfoutofafeelingofdisaster.yousayyouhaveapassportandavisa.ittakesalittletimetogetavisatomexico.theydon’tletjustanybodyin.soyou’vebeenplanningtoblowforsometime.iwaswonderinghowlongyouwouldstick.”

“iguessifeltsomevaguekindofobligationtobearound,someideashemightneedmeforsomethingmorethanafronttokeeptheoldmanfromnosingaroundtoohard.bytheway,itriedtocallyouinthemiddleofthenight.”

“isleephard.ididn’thear.”

“theniwenttoaturkishbathplace.istayedacoupleofhours,hadasteambath,aplunge,aneedleshower,arubdownandmadeacoupleofphonecallsfromthere.ileftthecaratlabreaandfountain.iwalkedfromthere.nobodysawmeturnintoyourstreet.”

“dothesephonecallsconcernme?”

“onewastoharlanpotter.theoldmanflewdowntopasadenayesterday,somebusiness.hehadn’tbeentothehouse.ihadalotoftroublegettinghim.buthefinallytalkedtome.itoldhimiwassorry,butiwasleaving.”hewaslookingalittlesidewayswhenhesaidthis,towardsthewindowoverthesinkandthetecomabushthatfrettedagainstthescreen.

“howdidhetakeit?”