“that’sawholelotofchristians.”

“i’dsayatleastfifty.”

helaughs.“fiftyshades,”hemurmursintomyhair.

“myfiftyshades.”

heshifts,tippingmyheadback,andkissesme.“well,mrs.shades,let’s

seehowyourdadisdoing.”

“okay.”

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“canwegoforadrive?”

christianandiarebackinther8,andi’mfeelinggiddilybuoyant.ray’s

brainisbacktonormal—allswellinggone.dr.sluderhasdecidedtowake

himfromhiscomatomorrow.shesaysshe’spleasedwithhisprogress.

“sure.”christiangrinsatme.“it’syourbirthday—wecandoanythingyou

want.”

oh!histonemakesmeturnandgazeathim.hiseyesaredark.

“anything?”

“anything.”

howmuchpromisecanheloadintooneword?

“well,iwanttodrive.”

“thendrive,baby.”hegrins,andigrinback.

mycarhandleslikeadream,andaswehitthei-5,isub一tlyputmyfootdown,

forcingusbothbackinourseats.

“steady,baby,”christianwarns.

aswedrivebackintoportlandanideaoccurstome.

“ha一veyouplannedlunch?”iaskchristiantentatively.

“no.you’rehungry?”hesoundshopeful.

“yes.”

“wheredoyouwanttogo?it’syourday,ana.”

“iknowjusttheplace.”

ipullupnearthegallerywherejoséexhibitedhisworkandparkrightoutside

thelepicotinrestaurantwherewewentafterjosé’sshow.christiangrinsat

me.

“foroneminuteithoughtyouweregoingtotakemetothatdreadfulbaryou

drunkdialedmefrom.”

“whywouldidothat?”

“tochecktheazaleasarestillalive.”hearchesasardonicbrow.iblush.

“don’tremindme!besides...youstilltookmetoyourhotelroom.”ismirk.

“bestdecisionievermade,”hesays,hiseyessoftandwarm.

“yes.itwas.”ileanoverandkisshim.

“doyouthinkthatsuperciliousfuckerisstillwaitingtables?”

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christianasks.

“supercilious?ithoughthewasfine.”

“hewastryingtoimpressyou.”

“well,hesucceeded.”

christian’smouthtwistsinamuseddisgust.

“shallwegosee?”ioffer.

“leadon,mrs.grey.”

afterlunchandaquickdetourtotheheathmantopickupchristian’slaptop,

wereturntothehospital.ispendtheafternoonwithray,readingaloudfrom

oneofthemanuscriptsi’vebeensent.myonlyaccompanimentisthesound

ofthemachinerykeepinghimalive,keepinghimwithme.nowthatiknow

he’smakingprogress,icanbreathealittleeasierandrelax.i’mhopeful.he

justneedstimetogetwell.i’vegottime—icangivehimthat.iwonderidlyifi

shouldtrycallingmomagain,butdecidetodoitlater.iholdray’shand

looselyasireadtohim,squeezingitoccasionally,willinghimtobewell.his

fingersfeelsoftandwarmbeneathmytouch.hestillhastheindentationon

hisfingerwhereheworehisweddingring—evenafterallthistime.

anhourortwolater,idon’tknowhowlong,iglanceuptoseechristian,

laptopinhand,standingattheendofray’sbedwithnursekellie.

“it’stimetogo,ana.”

oh.iclaspray’shandtightly.idon’twanttolea一vehim.

“iwanttofeedyou.come.it’slate.”christiansoundsinsistent.

“i’mabouttogivemr.steeleaspongebath.”nursekelliesays.

“okay.”iconcede.“we’llbebacktomorrowmorning.”

ibendandkissrayonhischeek,feelinghisunfamiliarstubblebeneathmy

lips.idon’tlikeit.keepgettingbetter,daddy.iloveyou.

“ithoughtwe’ddinedownstairs.inaprivateroom,”christiansays,agleamin

hiseyeasheopensthedoortooursuite.

“really?finishwhatyoustartedafewmonthsago?”

hesmirks.“ifyou’reverylucky,mrs.grey.”

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fiftyshadesfreed

ilaugh.“christian,idon’tha一veanythingdressytowear.”

hesmiles,holdsouthishand,andleadsmeintothebedroom.heopensthe

wardrobetorevealalargeplainwhitedressbaghanginginside.

“taylor?”iask.

“christian,”hereplies,forcefulandwoundedatonce.histonemakesme

laugh.unzippingthebag,ifindana一vysatindressandeaseitout.it’s

gorgeous—fittedwiththinstraps.itlookssmall.

“it’slovely.thankyou.ihopeitfits.”

“itwill,”hesaysconfidently.“andhere”—bendingdown,hepicksupa

shoebox—“shoestomatch.”hegivesmeawolfishsmile.

“youthinkofeverything.thankyou.”istretchupandkisshim.

“ido.”hehandsmeyetanotherbag.

igazeathimquizzically.insideisablackstraplessbodysuitwithacentral

paneloflace.hecaressesmyface,tiltsmychin,andkissesme.

“ilookforwardtotakingthisoffyoulater.”

freshoutofmybath,washed,sha一vedandfeelingpampered,isitonthe

edgeofthebedandstartupthehairdryer.christianwandersintothe

bedroom.ithinkhe’sbeenworking.

“here,letme,”hesays,pointingtothechairinfrontofthedressingtable.

“drymyhair?”

henods.iblinkathim.

“come,”hesays,regardingmeintently.iknowthatexpression,andiknow

betterthantodisobey.slowlyandmethodicallyhedriesmyhair,onelockat

atime.he’sobviouslydonethisbefore...often.

“you’renostrangertothis,”imurmur.hissmileisreflectedinthemirror,but

hesaysnothingandcontinuestobrushthroughmyhair.hmm...it’svery

relaxing.

whenwestepintotheelevatoronourwaytodinner,wearenotalone.

christianlooksdeliciousinhissignaturewhitelinenshirt,blackjeansand

jacket.notie.thetwowomeninsideshootadmiringglancesathimandless

generousonesatme.ihidemysmile.yes,ladies,he’s356|page

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mine.christiantakesmyhandandpullsmecloseaswetra一velinsilence

downtothemezzaninelevel.

it’sbusy,fullofpeopledressedupfortheevening,sittingaroundchattingand

drinking,startingtheirsaturdaynight.iamgratefulthatifitin.thedresshugs

me,skimmingovermycurvesandholdingeverythinginplace.iha一vetosay,i

feel...attractivewearingit.iknowchristianapproves.

atfirst,ithinkwe’reheadedfortheprivatediningroomwherewefirst

discussedthecontract,butheleadsmepastthatdoorwayandontothefar

endwhereheopensthedoortoanotherwoodpaneledroom.

“surprise!”

ohmy.kateandelliot,miaandethan,carrickandgrace,mr.rodriguez

andjosé,andmymotherandbobareallthereraisingtheirglasses.istand

gapingatthem,speechless.how?when?iturninconsternationto

christian,andhesqueezesmyhand.mymomstepsforwardandwrapsher

armsaroundme.oh,mom!

“darling,youlookbeautiful.happybirthday.”

“mom!”isob,embracingher.ohmommy,mommy,mommy.tearsstream

downmyfacedespiteoftheaudience,andiburymyfaceinherneck.

“honey,darling.don’tcry.raywillbeokay.he’ssuchastrongman.don’t

cry.notonyourbirthday.”hervoicecracks,butshemaintainsher

composure.shegraspsmyfaceinherhandsandwithherthumbswipes

awaymytears.

“ithoughtyou’dforgotten.”

“oh,ana!howcouldi?seventeenhoursoflaborisnotsomethingyoueasily

forget.”

igigglethroughmytears.shesmiles.

“dryyoureyes,honey.lotsofpeopleareheretoshareyourspecialday.”

isniff,notwantingtolookatanyoneelseintheroom,embarrassedand

thrilledthateveryonehasmadesuchanefforttocomeandseeme.

“howdidyougethere?whendidyouarrive?”

“yourhusbandsenthisplane,darling.”shegrins,impressed.andilaugh.

“thankyouforcoming,mom.”shewipesmynosewithatissueasonlya

motherwould.“mom!”iscold,composingmyself.

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fiftyshadesfreed

“that’sbetter.happybirthday,darling.”shestepsasidewhileeveryonelines

uptohugmeandwishmehappybirthday.

“he’sdoingwell,ana.dr.sluderistheoneofthebestinthecountry.happy

birthday,angel.”gracehugsme.

“youcryallyouwantto,ana—it’syourparty.”joséembracesme.

“happybirthday,darlinggirl.”carricksmiles,cuppingmyface.

“s’upbabe?youroldmanwillbefine.”elliotenfoldsmeinhisarms.“happy

birthday.”

“okay.”takingmyhand,christianpullsmefromelliot’sembrace.

“enoughfondlingmywife.gofondleyourfiancée.”

elliotgrinswickedlyathimandwinksatkate.

awaiterihadn’tnoticedbeforepresentschristianandmewithglassesof

pinkchampagne.

christianclearshisthroat.“thiswouldbeaperfectdayifraywereherewith

us,buthe’snotfaraway.he’sdoingwell,andiknowhe’dlikeyoutoenjoy

yourself,ana.toallofyou,thankyouforcomingtosharewithmemy

beautifulwife’sbirthday,thefirstofmanytocome.happybirthday,mylove.”

christianraiseshisglasstomeamidachorusofhappybirthdays,andi

ha一vetofightagaintokeepmytearsatbay.

iwatchtheanimatedconversationsaroundthedinnertable.it’sstrangetobe

cocoonedinthebosomofmyfamily,knowingthemaniconsidermyfatheris

onalifesupportmachineinthecoldclinicalenvironsoftheicu.i’m

detachedfromalltheproceedingsbutgratefulthatthey’reallhere.watching

thesparringbetweenelliotandchristian,josé’sreadywarmwit,mia’s

excitementandherenthusiasmforthefood,ethanslylywatchingher.ithink

helikesher...thoughit’shardtotell.mr.rodriguezissittingback,likeme,

enjoyingtheconversations.helooksbetter.rested.joséisveryattentiveto

him,cuttinghisfood,keepinghisglassfilled.ha一vinghissurvivingparent

comesoclosetodeathhasmadejoséappreciatemr.rodriguezmore...i

know.igazeatmom.she’sinherelement,charming,witty,andwarm.ilove

hersomuch.imustremembertotellher.lifeissoprecious,irealizethat

now.

“youokay?”kateasksinanuncharacteristicallygentlevoice.358|page

eljames

inodandclaspherhand.“yes.thanksforcoming.”

“youthinkmr.megabuckscouldkeepmeawayfromyouonyourbirthday?

wegottoflyinthehelicopter!”shegrins.

“really?”

“yes.allofus.andtothinkchristiancanflyit.”

inod.

“that’skindahot.”

“yeah,ithinkso.”

wegrin.

“areyoustayingheretonight?”iask.

“yes.weallare,ithink.youknewnothingaboutthis?”

ishakemyhead.

“smooth,isn’the?”

inod.

“whatdidhegetyouforyourbirthday?”

“this.”iholdupmybracelet.

“oh,cute!”

“yes.”

“london,paris...icecream?”

“youdon’twanttoknow.”

“icanguess.”

welaugh,andiblush,recallingben&jerry’s&ana.

“oh...andanr8.”

katespitsherwineratherunattractivelydownherchin,makingusbothlaugh

somemore.

“overthetopbastard,isn’the?”shegiggles.

fordessertiampresentedwithasumptuouschocolatecakeblazingwith

twenty-twosilvercandles,andarousingchorusof“happybirthday.”grace

watcheschristiansingingwiththerestofmyfriendsandfamily,andhereyes

shinewithlove.catchingmyeye,sheblowsmeakiss.

“makeawish,”christianwhisperstome.inonebreathiblowoutallthe

candles,ferventlywillingmyfatherbetter.daddy,getwell.pleasegetwell.i

loveyouso.

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fiftyshadesfreed

atmidnight,mr.rodriguezandjosétaketheirlea一ve.

“thankyousomuchforcoming.”ihugjosétightly.

“wouldn’tmissitfortheworld.gladray’sheadingintherightdirection.”

“yes.you,mr.rodriguez,andrayha一vetocomefishingwithchristianin

aspen.”

“yeah?soundscool.”joségrinsbeforehelea一vestofetchhisfather’scoat,

andicrouchdowntosaygoodbyetomr.rodriguez.

“youknowana,therewasatime...well,ithoughtyouandjosé...”his

voicefades,andhegazesatme,hisdarkgazeintensebutloving.

ohno.

“i’mveryfondofyourson,mr.rodriguez,buthe’slikeabrothertome.”

“youwouldha一vemadeonefinedaughter-in-law.andyoudo.tothegreys.”

hesmileswistfullyandiblush.

“ihopeyou’llsettleforfriend.”

“ofcourse.yourhusbandisafineman.youchosewell,ana.”

“ithinkso,”iwhisper.“ilovehimso.”ihugmr.rodriguez.

“treathimgood,ana.”

“iwill,”ipromise.

christianclosesthedoortooursuite.

“aloneatlast,”hemurmurs,leaningbackagainstthedoor,watchingme.

isteptowardhimandrunmyfingersoverthelapelsofhisjacket.

“thankyouforawonderfulbirthday.youreallyarethemostthoughtful,

considerate,generoushusband.”

“mypleasure.”

“yes...yourpleasure.let’sdosomethingaboutthat,”iwhisper.tightening

myhandsaroundhislapels,ipullhislipstomine.

~o0o~

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seriesofcheerygoodbyestoallthegreysandtheka一vanaghswhowillbe

returningtoseattleviacharlietango.mymom,christian,andiheadupto

thehospitalwithtaylordrivingsincethethreeofuswouldnotfitintomyr8.

bobhasdeclinedtovisit,andi’msecretlyglad.it’dbejusttooweird,andi’m

sureraywouldn’tappreciatebobseeinghimatanythinglessthanhisbest.

raylooksmuchthesame.hairier.momisshockedwhensheseeshim,and

togetherwecryalittlemore.

“oh,ray.”shesqueezeshishandandgentlystrokeshisface,andi’m

movedtoseeherloveforherex-husband.i’mgladiha一vetissuesinmy

purse.wesitbesidehim,meholdingherhandwhilesheholdshis.

“ana,therewasatimewhenthismanwasthecenterofmyworld.thesun

roseandsetwithhim.i’llalwayslovehim.he’stakencareofyousowell.”

“mom—”ichokeandshestrokesmyfaceandtucksalockofmyhairbehind

myear.

“youknowi’llalwaysloveray.wejustdriftedapart.”shesighs.

“andijustcouldn’tlivewithhim.”shegazesdownatherfingers,andi

wonderifshe’sthinkingabouthusbandnumberthree:stevewhowedon’t

talkabout.

“iknowyouloveray,”iwhisper,dryingmyeyes.“theyaregoingtobringhim

outofhiscomatoday.”

“good.i’msurehe’llbefine.he’ssostubborn.ithinkyoulearneditoffhim.”

ismile.“ha一veyoubeentalkingtochristian?”

“doeshethinkyou’restubborn?”

“ibelieveso.”

“i’lltellhimit’safamilytrait.youlooksogoodtogether,ana.sohappy.”

“weare,ithink.gettingthere,anyway.ilovehim.he’sthecenterofmy

world.thesunrisesandsetswithhimforme,too.”

“heobviouslyadoresyou,darling.”

“andiadorehim.”

“makesureyoutellhim.menneedtohearthatstuffjustlikewedo.”

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iinsistongoingtotheairportwithbobandmymomtosaygoodbye.taylor

followsinther8,andchristiandrivesthesuv.i’msorrytheycan’tstay

longer,buttheyha一vetogetbacktosa一vannah.it’satearfulgoodbye.

“takegoodcareofher,bob,”iwhisperashehugsme.

“surewill,ana.andyoulookafteryourself.”

“willdo.”iturntomymother.“goodbye,mom.thankyouforcoming,”i

whisper,myvoicehoarse.“iloveyousomuch.”

“ohmydarlinggirl,iloveyou,too.andraywillbefine.he’snotreadyto

shuffleoffhismortalcoiljustyet.there’sprobablyamarinersgamehecan’t

miss.”

igiggle.she’sright.iresolvetoreadthesportspagesofthesunday

newspapertoraythatevening.iwatchherandbobclimbthestepsintothe

greyenterprisesholdingsjet.shegivesmeatearfulwa一vethenshe’sgone.

christianwrapshisarmaroundmyshoulder.

“let’sheadback,baby,”hemurmurs

“willyoudrive?”

“sure.”

whenwereturntothehospitalthatevening,raylooksdifferent.ittakesmea

momenttorealizethatthesuckandpushoftheventilatorhasvanished.ray

isbreathingonhisown.relieffloodsthroughme.istrokehisstubblyface,

andtakingoutatissuetogentlywipe,thespittlefromhismouth.

christianstalksofftofinddr.sluderordr.croweforanupdate,whileitake

myfamiliarseatbesidehisbedtokeepawatchfulvigil.iunfoldthesports

sectionofthesundayoregonianandconscientiouslybeginreadingoutthe

reportfromthemarinersgameagainstthekansascityroyals.byall

accounts,itwasanexcitinggame,thankstotheroyal’spaulino.igripray’s

handfirmlyinmineasireaditthrough.

“andthefinalscore,mariners2,royals4.”

“hey,annie,welost?no!”rayrasps,andhesqueezesmyhand.daddy!

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