ifollowkateandmiainadazeforthenexttwohours,warringwithmyself.

shoulditellkate?mysubconsciousfirmlyshakesherhead.yes,ishouldtell

her.no,ishouldn’t.itcouldjustha一vebeenaninnocentmeeting.shit.what

shouldido?

“well,doyouliketheshoes,ana?”miahasherfistsonherhips.

“um...yeah,sure.”

iendupwithapairofunfeasiblyhighmanoloblahnikswithstrapsthatlook

liketheyaremadefrommirrors.theymatchthedressperfectlyandset

christianbackjustoverathousanddollars.i’mluckierwiththelongsilver

chainthatkateinsistsibuy;it’sabargainateighty-fourdollars.

“gettingusedtoha一vingmoney?”kateasks,notunkindly,aswewalkbackto

thecar.miahasskippedahead.

264|page

eljames

“youknowthisisn’tme,kate.i’mkindofuncomfortableaboutallthis.buti’m

reliablyinformedit’spartofthepackage.”ipursemylipsather,andsheputs

herarmaroundme.

“you’llgetusedtoit,ana,”shesayssympathetically.“you’lllookgreat.”

“kate,howareyouandelliotgettingalong?”iask.herwideblueeyesdart

tomine.

ohno.

sheshakesherhead.“idon’twanttotalkaboutitnow.”shenodstoward

mia.“butthingsare—”shedoesn’tfinishhersentence.thisisunlikemy

tenaciouskate.shit.iknewsomethingwasup.doitellher?tellherwhati

saw?whatdidisee?elliotandmisswell-groomed-sexual-predator

talking,hugging,andthatkissonthecheek.surelytheyarejustoldfriends?

no,iwon’ttellher.notrightnow.igivehermyi-completely-understand-andwill-

respect-yourprivacynod.shereachesformyhandandgivesitagrateful

squeeze,andthereitis—aswiftglimpseofpainandhurtinhereyesthatshe

quicklystifleswithablink.inthatmomentifeelasurgeofprotectivenessfor

mydearfriend.whatthefuckiselliotmanwhoregreyplayingat?

oncebackatthehouse,katedecideswedeservecocktailsafterour

shoppingextra一vaganzaandwhipsupsomestrawberrydaiquirisforus.we

curluponthesittingroomcouchesinfrontoftheblazinglogfire.

“elliothasjustbeenalittledistantlately,”katemurmurs,gazingintothe

flames.kateandifinallyha一veamomenttoourselvesasmiaputsawayher

purchases.

“oh?”

“ithinki’mintroubleforgettingyouintotrouble,”sheadds.

“youheardaboutthat?”

“yes.christiancalledelliot;elliotcalledme.”

irollmyeyes.ohfifty,fifty,fifty.

“i’msorry.christianis...protective.youha一ven’tseenelliotsince

cocktailgate?”

“no.”

“oh.”

265|page

fiftyshadesfreed

“ireallylikehim,ana,”shewhispers.andforonedreadfulminuteithinkshe’s

goingtocry.ohno...thisisnotlikekate.doesthismeanthereturnofthe

pinkpajamas?sheturnstogazeatme.

“i’vefalleninlovewithhim.atfirstithoughtitwasjustthegreatsex.buthe’s

charmingandkindandwarmandfunny.icouldseeusgrowingoldtogether

—youknow...kids,grandkids—theworks.”

“yourhappyeverafter,”iwhisper.

shenodssadly.

“maybeyoushouldtalktohim.tryandfindsomealonetimehere.findout

what’seatinghim.”

who’seatinghim,mysubconscioussnarls.islapherdown,shockedatthe

waywardnessofmyownthoughts.

“perhapsyouguyscouldgoforawalktomorrowmorning?”

“we’llsee.”

“kate,ihateseeingyoulikethis.”

shesmilesweakly,andileanovertohugher.iresolvenottomentiongia,

thoughimightmentionittothemanwhorehimself.howcanhemesswithmy

friend’saffectionslikethis?

miareturns,andwemoveontosaferterritory.

thefirehissesandspitssparksontothehearthasifeeditthelastlog.

we’realmostoutofwood.eventhoughit’ssummer,thefireisverywelcome

onthiswetday.

“mia,doyouknowwherethewoodforthefireiskept?”iaskasshesipsher

daiquiri.

“ithinkit’sinthegarage.”

“i’llgofindsome.it’llgivemeanopportunitytoexplore.”

therainhaseasedoffwheniventureoutsideandheadtothethreecar

garageadjoiningthehouse.thesidedoorisunlockedandienter,switching

onthelighttofightthegloom.thefluorescentstripspingnoisilytolife.

there’sacarinthegarage,andirealizeit’stheaudiisawelliotinthis

afternoon.therearealsotwosnowmobiles.butwhatreallygrabsmy

attentionarethetwotrailbikes,both125cc.memoriesofethanbra一vely

endea一voringtoteachmehowtoridelastsummerflashthrough266|page

eljames

mymind.unconsciously,irubmyarmwhereibadlybruiseditinafall.

“youride?”elliotasksfrombehindme.

iwhirlaround.“you’reback.”

“itwouldappearso.”hegrins,andirealizethatchristianmightsaythesame

thingtome—butwithoutthehuge,heart-meltinggrin.

“well?”heasks.

manwhore!

“sortof.”

“doyouwantago?”

isnort.“um,no...idon’tthinkchristianwouldbeveryhappyifidid.”

“christian’snothere.”elliotsmirks—oh,it’safamilytrait—andwa一veshis

armtoindicatewe’realone.hestrollstowardthenearestbikeandswingsa

longdenimedlegoverthesaddle,sittingastrideandgrabbingthe

handlebars.

“christianhas,um...issuesaboutmysafety.ishouldn’t.”

“youalwaysdowhathesays?”elliothasawickedsparkleinhisbaby-blue

eyesandiseeaglimmerofthebadboy...thebadboykatehasfallenin

lovewith.thebadboyfromdetroit.

“no.”iarchanadmonishingbrowathim.“buti’mtryingtoputthatright.he

hasenoughtoworryaboutwithoutaddingmetothemix.isheback?”

“idon’tknow.”

“youdidn’tgofishing?”

elliotshakeshishead.“ihadsomebusinesstodealwithintown.”

business!holyshit—groomedblondebusiness!iinhalesharplyandgapeat

him.

“ifyoudon’twanttoride,whatareyoudoinginthegarage?”elliotis

intrigued.

“i’mlookingforwoodforthefire.”

“thereyouare.oh,elliot—you’reback.”kateinterruptsus.

“hey,baby.”hesmilesbroadly.

“catchanything?”

iscrutinizeelliot’sreaction.“no.ihadafewthingstotakecareofintown.”

andforonebriefmoment,iseeaflashofuncertaintycrosshisface.

267|page

fiftyshadesfreed

ohshit.

“icameouttoseewhatwaskeepingana.”katelooksatus,confused.

“wewerejustshootingthebreeze,”elliotsays,andthetensioncrackles

betweenthem.

weallpauseaswehearacarpullupoutside.oh!christian’sback.thank

hea一vens.thegaragedooropenerwhirrsloudlyintoaction,startlingusall,

andthedoorslowlyliftstorevealchristianandethanunloadingablack

flatbedtruck.christianstopswhenheseesusallstandinginthegarage.

“garageband?”heaskssardonicallyashewandersin,headingstraightfor

me.

igrin.iamrelievedtoseehim.beneathhiswaxcoathe’swearingthe

overallsisoldhimatclaytons.

“hi,”hesayslookingquizzicallyatme,ignoringbothkateandelliot.

“hi.niceoveralls.”

“lotsofpockets.veryhandyforfishing.”hisvoiceissoftandseductive,for

myearsonly,andwhenhegazesdownatmehisexpressionishot.

iflush,andhesmilesahuge,no-holds-barred,all-for-mesmile.

“you’rewet,”imurmur.

“itwasraining.whatareyouguysdoinginthegarage?”finallyhe

acknowledgesthatwearenotalone.

“anacametofetchsomewood,”elliotsmirks.somehowhemanagesto

makethatsentencesoundsmutty.“itriedtotempthertotakearide.”heis

masterofthedoubleentendre.

christian’sfacefalls,andmyheartstills.

“shesaidno.thatyouwouldn’tlikeit,”elliotaddskindly—andinnuendofree.

christian’sgraygazeswingsbacktome.“didshe,now?”hemurmurs.

“listen,i’mallforstandingarounddiscussingwhatanadidnext,butshallwe

gobackinside?”katesnaps.shestoopsdown,snatchesuptwologs,and

turnsonherheel,stompingtowardthedoor.ohshit.kateismad—buti

knowit’snotatme.elliotsighsand,withoutaword,followsherout.igaze

afterthem,butchristiandistractsme.268|page

eljames

“youcanrideamotorcycle?”heasks,hisvoicelacedwithdisbelief.

“notverywell.ethantaughtme.”

hiseyesfrostimmediately.“youmadetherightdecision,”hesays,hisvoice

muchcooler.“theground’sveryhardatthemoment,andtherain’smadeit

treacherousandslippery.”

“wheredoyouwantthefishinggear?”ethancallsfromoutside.

“lea一veit,ethan—taylorwilltakecareofit.”

“whataboutthefish?”ethancontinues,hisvoicevaguelytaunting.

“youcaughtafish?”iask,surprised.

“notme.ka一vanaghdid.”andchristianpouts...prettily.iburstoutlaughing.

“mrs.bentleywilldealwiththat,”hecallsback.ethangrinsandheadsinto

thehouse.

“amiamusingyou,mrs.grey?”

“verymuchso.you’rewet...letmerunyouabath.”

“aslongasyoujoinme.”heleansdownandkissesme.

ifillthelargeegg-shapedtubintheensuitebathroomandpourinsome

expensivebathoil,whichstartstofoamimmediately.thearomaishea一venly

...jasmine,ithink.backinthebedroom,istarttohangthedresswhilethe

bathfills.

“didyouha一veagoodtime?”christianasksasheenterstheroom.he’sjust

inat-shirtandsweatpants,hisfeetbare.heclosesthedoorbehindhim.

“yes,”imurmur,drinkinghimin.iha一vemissedhim.ridiculous—

it’sonlybeenwhat,afewhours?

hecockshisheadtoonesideandgazesatme.“whatisit?”

“iwasthinkinghowmuchi’vemissedyou.”

“yousoundlikeyouha一veitbad,mrs.grey.”

“iha一ve,mr.grey.”

hestrollstowardmeuntilhe’sstandinginfrontofme.“whatdidyoubuy?”he

whispers,andiknowit’stochangethetopicofconversation.

“adress,someshoes,anecklace.ispentagreatdealofyourmoney.”i

glanceupathim,guiltily.

26一9|page

fiftyshadesfreed

he’samused.“good,”hemurmurs,andhishandreachesuptotuckastray

lockofhairbehindmyear.“andforthebillionthtime,ourmoney.”hetugsmy

chin,releasingmylipfrommyteethandrunshisindexfingerdownthefront

ofmyt-shirt,downmysternum,betweenmybreasts,downmystomach,and

overmybellytothehem.

“youwon’tbeneedingthisinthebath,”hewhispers,andgrippingthehemof

myt-shirtinbothhands,slowlypullsitup.“liftyourarms.”

icomply,nottakingmyeyesoffhis,andhedropsmyt-shirtonthefloor.

“ithoughtwewerejustha一vingabath.”mypulsequickens.

“iwanttomakeyougoodanddirtyfirst.i’vemissedyou,too.”heleansdown

andkissesme.

“shit,thewater!”istruggletositup,allpost-orgasmicanddazed.christian

doesn’treleaseme.

“christian,thebath!”igazedownathimfrommypronepositionacrosshis

chest.

helaughs.“relax—it’sawetroom.”herollsoverandkissesmequickly.“i’ll

switchoffthefaucet.”

heclimbsgracefullyoffthebedandstrollsintothebathroom.myeyes

greedilyfollowhimalltheway.hmm...myhusband,nakedandsoontobe

wet.myinnergoddesslicksherlipssalaciouslyandgivesmeherwellfucked

grin.iboundoutofbed.

wesitatoppositeendsofthebath,whichisveryfull—sofullthatwhenever

wemove,waterlapsoverthesideandsplashestothefloor.it’svery

decadent.evenmoredecadentischristianwashingmyfeet,massagingthe

soles,pullinggentlyonmytoes.hekisseseachoneandgentlybitesmylittle

toe.

“aaah!”ifeelit—there,inmygroin.

“likethat?”hebreathes.

“hmm,”imumbleincoherently.

hestartsmassagingagain.oh,thisfeelsgood.iclosemyeyes.

“isawgiaintown,”imurmur.

270|page

eljames

“really?ithinkshehasaplacehere,”hesaysdismissively.he’snot

interestedintheslightest.

“shewaswithelliot.”

christianstopsmassaging.thatgothisattention.wheniopenmyeyeshis

headisinclinedtooneside,likehedoesn’tunderstand.

“whatdoyoumeanwithelliot?”heasks,perplexedratherthanconcerned.

iexplainwhatisaw.

“ana,they’rejustfriends.ithinkelliotisprettystuckonkate.”hepausesthen

addsmorequietly.“infactiknowhe’sprettystuckonher.”andhegivesme

hisi-ha一ve-no-idea-whylook.

“kateisgorgeous.”ibristle,championingmyfriend.hesnorts.“stillgladit

wasyouthatfellintomyoffice.”hekissesmybigtoe,releasesmyleftfoot

andpicksupmyright,beginningthemassageprocessagain.hisfingers

aresostrongandsupple,irelaxagain.idonotwanttofightaboutkate.i

closemyeyesandlethisfingersworktheirmagiconmyfeet.

igapeatmyselfinthefull-lengthmirror,notrecognizingthevixenthatstares

backatme.katehasgonealloutandplayedbarbiewithmethisevening,

stylingmyhairandmakeup.myhairisfullandstraight,myeyesringedwith

kohl,mylipsscarletred.ilook...hot.i’malllegs,especiallyinthehighheeled

manolosandmyplainlyindecentshortdress.ineedchristianto

approve,thoughiha一veahorriblefeelinghewon’tlikesomuchofmyflesh

exposed.inviewofourententecordiale,idecideishouldaskhim.ipickup

myblackberry,asidoub一the’llhearmefromupstairs.

from:anastasiagrey

subject:doesmybuttlookbiginthis?

date:august27,201118:53mst

to:christiangrey

mr.grey

ineedyoursartorialadvice.

yours

271|page

fiftyshadesfreed

mrs.gx

from:christiangrey

subject:peachy

date:august27,201118:55mst

to:anastasiagrey

mrs.grey

iseriouslydoub一tit.

butiwillcomeandgiveyourbuttathoroughexaminationjusttomakesure.

yoursinanticipation

mr.gx

christiangrey,

ceogreyenterprisesholdingsandbuttinspectorateinc.

asireadhise-mail,thebedroomdooropensandchristianfreezesonthe

threshold.hismouthpopsopenandhiseyeswiden.holycrap...thiscould

goeitherway.

“well?”iwhisper.

“ana,youlook...wow.”

“youlikeit?”

“yes,iguessso.”he’salittlehoarse.slowlyhestepsintotheroomand

closesthedoor.he’swearingblackjeansandawhiteshirt,butwithablack

jacket...helookspine.hestalksslowlytowardme,butassoonashe

reachesme,heputshishandsonmyshouldersandturnsmearoundtoface

thefull-lengthmirror,whilehestandsbehindme.mygazefindshisinthe

glass,thenheglancesdown,fascinatedbymynakedback.hisfingerglides

downmyspineandreachestheedgeofmydressatthesmallofmyback,

wherepalefleshmeetssilvercloth.

“thisisveryrevealing,”hemurmurs.

hishandskimslower,overmybacksideanddowntomynakedthigh.he

pauses,grayeyesburningintentlyintoblue.thenslowlyhetrailshisfingers

backuptothehemofmyskirt.

272|page

eljames

watchinghislongfingersmovelightly,teasinglyacrossmyskin,feelingthe

tinglestheylea一veintheirwake,mymouthformsaperfecto.

“it’snotfarfromhere.”hetouchesthehem,thenmoveshisfingershigher.

“tohere,”hewhispers.igaspashisfingersstrokemysex,moving

tantalizinglyovermypanties,feelingme,teasingme.

“andyourpointis?”iwhisper.

“mypointis...it’snotfarfromhere”—hisfingersglideovermypanties,then

oneisinside,againstmysoftdampenedflesh—“tohere.andthen...to

here.”heslipsafingerinsideme.igaspandmakeasoftmewlingsound.

“thisismine,”hemurmursinmyear.closinghiseyeshemoveshisfinger

slowlyinandoutofme.“idon’twantanyoneelsetoseethis.”

mybreathstutters,mypantingmatchingtherhythmofhisfinger.watching

himinthemirror,doingthis...it’sbeyonderotic.

“sobeagoodgirlanddon’tbenddown,andyoushouldbefine.”

“youapprove?”iwhisper.

“no,buti’mnotgoingtostopyouwearingit.youlookstunning,anastasia.”

abruptlyhewithdrawshisfinger,lea一vingmewantingmore,andhemoves

aroundtofaceme.heplacesthetipofhisinvadingfingeronmylowerlip.

instinctively,ipuckermylipsandkissit,andi’mrewardedwithawickedgrin.

heputshisfingerinhismouthandhisexpressioninformsmethatitaste

good...realgood.iflush.willitalwaysshockmewhenhedoesthat?

hegraspsmyhand.

“come,”heorderssoftly.iwanttoretortthatiwasaboutto,butinlightof

whathappenedintheplayroomyesterday,idecideagainstit.

wearewaitingfordessertinaplush,exclusiverestaurantintown.it’sbeena

livelyeveningsofar,andmiaisdetermineditshouldcontinueandthatwe

mustgoclubbing.rightnowshe’ssittingsilently—foronce—hangingon

ethan’severywordasheandchristiantalk.miaisobviouslyinfatuatedwith

ethan,andethanis...wellit’sdifficulttotell.idon’tknowiftheyarejust

friendsorifthere’ssomethingmore.273|page

fiftyshadesfreed

christianseemsatease.he’sbeentalkinganimatedlywithethan—

theyobviouslybondedoverthefly-fishing.they’retalkingaboutpsychology,

mainly.ironically,it’schristianwhosoundsthemoreknowledgeable.isnort

softlyasihalflistentotheirconversation,sadlyacknowledgingthathis

expertiseistheresultofhisexperiencewithsomanyshrinks.

you’rethebesttherapy.hiswords,whisperedwhileweweremakinglove

once,echoinmyhead.ami?oh,christian,ihopeso.iglanceoveratkate.

shelooksbeautiful,butthenshealwaysdoes.sheandelliotarelesslively.

heseemsnervous,hisjokesalittletooloudandhislaughalittleoff.ha一ve

theyhadafight?what’seatinghim?isitthatwoman?myheartsinksatthe

thoughtthathemighthurtmybestfriend.iglanceattheentrance,half

expectingtoseegiacalmlysaunterherwell-groomedassacrossthe

restauranttous.mymindisplayingtricks—isuspectit’stheamountof

alcoholi’vehad.myheadisbeginningtoache.

abruptly,elliotstartlesusallbystandingandpullinghischairbacksoit

scrapesacrossthetilefloor.alleyesturntohim.hegazesdownatkatefor

onemomentthendropstoonekneebesideher.oh.my.god.

hereachesforherhand,andsilencesettleslikeablanketovertheentire

restaurantaseveryonestopseating,stopstalking,stopswalking,and

stares.

“mybeautifulkate,iloveyou.yourgrace,yourbeauty,andyourfieryspirit

ha一venoequal,andyouha一vecapturedmyheart.spendyourlifewithme.

marryme.”

holyshit!

274|page

eljames