chapterone

istareupthroughgapsintheseagrassparasolatthebluestofskies,summerblue,mediterraneanbluewithacontentedsigh.christianisbesideme,stretchedoutonasunlounger.myhusband—myhot,beautifulhusband,shirtless,andincut-offjeans—isreadingabookpredictingthecollapseofthewesternbankingsystem.byallaccountsit’sapage-turner;iha一ven’tseenhimsitthisstill,ever.helooksmorelikeastudentthanthehotshotceoofonethetopprivatelyownedcompaniesintheunitedstates.

onthefinallegofourhoneymoon,welazeintheafternoonsunonthebeachoftheaptlynamedbeachplazamontecarloinmonaco,althoughwe’renotactuallystayinginthishotel.iopenmyeyesandgazeoutatthefairladyanchoredintheharbor.wearestaying,ofcourse,onboardaluxurymotoryacht.builtin1928,shefloatsmajesticallyonthewater,queenofthealltheyachtsintheharbor.shelookslikeachild’swind-uptoy.christianlovesher—isuspecthe’stemptedtobuyher.honestly,boysandtheirtoys.

sittingback,ilistentothechristiangreymixonmynewipodanddozeinthelateafternoonsun,idlyrememberinghisproposal;ohhisdreamyproposalintheboathouse...icanalmostsmellthescentofthemeadowflowers...

~o0o~

“canwemarrytomorrow?”christianmurmurssoftlyinmyear.iamsprawledonhischestintheflowerybowerintheboathouse,satedfromourpassionatelovemaking.

“hmm.”

“isthatayes?”ihearhishopefulsurprise.

“hmm.”

“hmm.”

“ano?”

“hmm.”

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fiftyshadesfreed

isensehisgrin.“misssteele,areyouincoherent?”

igrin.“hmm.”

helaughsandhugsmetightly,kissingthetopofmyhead.“vegas,

tomorrow,itisthen.”

sleepilyiraisemyhead.“idon’tthinkmyparentswouldbeveryhappywiththat.”

hethrumshisfingertipsupanddownmynakedback,caressingmegently.

“whatdoyouwant,anastasia?vegas?abigweddingwithallthetrimmings?tellme.”

“notbig...justfriendsandfamily.”igazeupathimmovedbythequietentreatyinhisglowinggrayeyes.whatdoeshewant?

“okay.”henods.“where?”

ishrug.

“couldwedoithere?”heaskstentatively.

“yourfolks’place?wouldtheymind?”

hesnorts.“mymotherwouldbeinseventhhea一ven.”

“okay,here.i’msuremymomanddadwouldpreferthat.”

hestrokesmyhair.couldibeanyhappier?

“so,we’veestablishedwhere,nowthewhen.”

“surelyyoushouldaskyourmother.”

“hmm.”christian’ssmiledips.“shecanha一veamonth,that’sit.iwantyoutoomuchtowaitanylonger.”

“christian,youha一veme.you’vehadmeforawhile.butokay—amonthitis.”

ikisshischest,asoftchastekiss,andsmileupathim.

~o0o~

“you’llburn.”christianwhispersinmyear,startlingmefrommydoze.

“onlyforyou.”igivehimmysweetestsmile.thelateafternoonsunhasshifted,andiamunderitsfullglare.hesmirksandinoneswiftmovepullsmysunloungerintotheshadeoftheparasol.

“outofthemediterraneansun,mrs.grey.”

“thankyouforyouraltruism,mr.grey.”

“mypleasure,mrs.grey,andi’mnotbeingaltruisticatall.ifyouburn,iwon’tbeabletotouchyou.”heraisesaneyebrow,hiseyes

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eljames

shiningwithmirth,andmyheartexpands.“butisuspectyouknowthatandyou’relaughingatme.”

“wouldi?”igasp,feigninginnocence.

“yesyouwouldandyoudo.often.it’soneofthemanythingsiloveaboutyou.”heleansdownandkissesme,playfullybitingmylowerlip.

“iwashopingyou’drubmedownwithmoresuntanlotion.”ipoutagainsthislips.

“mrs.grey,it’sadirtyjob...butthat’sanofferican’trefuse.situp,”heorders,hisvoicehusky.idoasi’mtold,andwithslowmeticulousstrokes

fromstrongandsupplefingers,hecoatsmeinsunlotion.

“youreallyareverylovely.i’maluckyman,”hemurmursashisfingersskimovermybreasts,spreadingthelotion.

“yesyouare,mr.grey.”igazecoylyupathimthroughmylashes.

“modestybecomesyou,mrs.grey.turnover.iwanttodoyourback.”

smiling,irollover,andheundoesthebackstrapofmyhideouslyexpensivebikini.

“howwouldyoufeelifiwenttopless,liketheotherwomenonthebeach?”iask.

“displeased,”hesayswithouthesitation.“i’mnotveryhappyaboutyouwearingsolittlerightnow.”heleansdownandwhispersinmyear.“don’t

pushyourluck.”

“isthatachallenge,mr.grey?”

“no.it’sastatementoffact,mrs.grey.”

isighandshakemyhead.ohchristian...mypossessive,jealous,controlfreakchristian.

whenhe’sfinished,heslapsmybehind.

“you’lldo,wench.”

hisever-present,ever-activeblackberrybuzzes.ifrownandhesmirks.

“myeyesonly,mrs.grey.”heraiseshiseyebrowinplayfulwarning,slapsmybacksideoncemore,andsitsbackdownonhisloungertotakethecall.

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fiftyshadesfreed

myinnergoddesspurrs.maybetonightwecoulddosomekindoffloorshowforhiseyesonly.shesmirksknowingly,archingabrow.igrinatthethoughtanddriftbackintomyafternoonsiesta.

“mam’selle?unperrierpourmoi,uncoca-colalightpourmafemme,s’ilvousplait.etquelquechoseamanger...laissez-moivoirlacarte.”

hmm...christianspeakingfluentfrenchwakesme.myeyelashesflutterintheglareofthesun,andifindchristianwatchingmewhilealiveriedyoungwomanwalksaway,hertrayheldaloft,herhighblondponytailswingingprovocatively.

“thirsty?”heasks.

“yes,”imuttersleepily.

“icouldwatchyouallday.tired?”

iflush.“ididn’tgetmuchsleeplastnight.”

“meneither.”hegrins,putsdownhisblackberryandstands.hisshortsfallalittleandhang...inthatwaysohisswimtrunksarevisiblebeneath.

christiantakeshisshortsoff,steppingoutofhisflipflops.ilosemytrainofthought.

“comeforaswimwithme.”heholdsouthishandwhileilookupathim,dazed.“swim?”hesaysagain,cockinghisheadtooneside,anamusedexpressiononhisface.whenidon’trespond,heshakeshisheadslowly.

“ithinkyouneedawake-upcall.”suddenlyhepounces,reachingdownandliftingmeintohisarmswhileishriek,morefromsurprisethanalarm.

“christian!putmedown!”isqueal.

hechuckles.“onlyinthesea,baby.”

severalsunbathersonthebeachwatchwiththatbemuseddisinterestsotypical,inowrealize,ofthefrenchaschristiancarriesmetothesea,

laughing,andwadesin.

iclaspmyarmsaroundhisneck.“youwouldn’t.”isaybreathlessly,tryingtostiflemygiggling.

hegrinsdownatme.“ohana,baby,ha一veyoulearnednothingintheshorttimewe’veknowneachother?”heleansdownandkissesme,andiseizemyopportunity,runningmyfingersthroughhishair,

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eljames

graspingtwohandfulsandkissinghimback,invadinghismouthwithmytongue.heinhalessharplyandleansback,eyessmokybutwary.

“iknowyourgame,”hewhispersandheslowlysinksintothecool,clearwater,takingmewithhimashislipsfindmineoncemore.thechillofthemediterraneanissoonforgottenasiwrapmyselfaroundmyhusband.

“ithoughtyouwantedtoswim,”imurmuragainsthismouth.

“you’reverydistracting.”christiangrazeshisteethalongmylowerlip.“buti’mnotsureiwantthegoodpeopleofmontecarlotoseemywifeinthethroesofpassion.”

irunmyteethalonghisjaw,hisstubbleticklyagainstmytongue,notcaringadimeforthegoodpeopleofmontecarlo.

“ana,”hegroans.hewrapshiswristaroundmyponytailandtugsgently,tiltingmyheadback,exposingmythroat.hetrailskissesfrommyeardownmyneck.

“shallitakeyouinthesea?”hebreathes.

“yes,”iwhisper.

christianpullsawayandgazesdownatme,hiseyeswarm,wantingandamused.“mrs.grey,you’reinsatiable,andsobrazen.whatsortofmonsterha一veicreated?”

“amonsterfitforyou.wouldyouha一vemeanyotherway?”

“i’lltakeyouanywayicangetyou,youknowthat.butnotrightnow.notwithanaudience.”hejerkshisheadtowardtheshore.what?

sureenough,severalsunbathersonthebeachha一veabandonedtheirindifferenceandnowregarduswithinterest.suddenly,christiangrabsmearoundmywaistandlaunchesmeintotheair,lettingmefallintothewaterandsinkbeneaththewa一vestothesoftsandbelow.isurface,coughing,splutteringandgiggling.

“christian!”iscold,glaringathim.ithoughtweweregoingtomakeloveinthesea...andchalkupyetanotherfirst.hebiteshislowerliptostiflehis

amusement.isplashhim,andhesplashesmerightback.

“weha一veallnight,”hesays,grinninglikeafool.“laters,baby.”

hepesbeneaththeseaandsurfacesthreefeetawayfromme,theninafluid,gracefulcrawl,swimsawayfromtheshore,awayfromme.

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fiftyshadesfreed

gah!playful,tantalizingfifty!ishieldmyeyesfromthesunasiwatchhimgo.he’ssuchatease...whatcanidotogethimback?

whileiswimbacktotheshore,icontemplatemyoptions.atthesunloungersourdrinksha一vearrivedanditakeaquicksipofcoke.christianisafaint

speckinthedistance.

hmm...iliedownonmyfrontand,fumblingwiththestraps,takemybikinitopoffandtossitcasuallyontochristian’ssunlounger.there...seehowbrazenicanbe,mr.grey.putthisinyourpipeandsmokeit.ishutmyeyesandletthesunwarmmyskin...warmmybones,andidriftawayunderitsheat,mythoughtsturningtomyweddingday.

~o0o~

“youmaykissthebride,”reverendwalshgushes.

ibeamupatmyhusband.

“finally,you’remine,”hewhispers,andhepullsmeintohisarmsandkissesmechastelyonthelips.

iammarried.iammrs.christiangrey.iamgiddywithjoy.

“youlookbeautiful,ana,”hemurmursandsmiles,hiseyesglowingwithlove...andsomethingdarker,somethinghot.“don’tletanyonetakethatdressoffbutme,understand?”hissmileheatsahundreddegreesashisfingertipstraildownmycheek,ignitingmyblood.

holycrap...howdoeshedothis,evenherewithallthesepeoplestaringatus?

inodmutely.jeez,ihopenoonecanhearus.luckilyreverendwalshhasdiscreetlysteppedback.iglanceatthethronggatheredintheirweddingfinery...mymom,ray,bob,andthegreysareallapplauding—evenkate,mymaidofhonor,wholooksstunninginpalepinkasshestandsbesidechristian’sbestman,hisbrother,elliot.whoknewthatevenelliotcouldscrubupsowell?allwearhuge,beamingsmiles—exceptgrace,whoweepsgraciouslyintoadaintywhitehandkerchief.

“readytoparty,mrs.grey?”christianmurmurs,givingmehisshysmile.imelt.helookspineinasimpleblacktuxwithsilverwaistcoatandtie.he’sso...dashing.

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“readyasi’lleverbe.”igrin,atotallygoofysmileonmyface.latertheweddingpartyisinfullswing...carrickandgraceha一vegonetotown.theyha一vethemarqueesetupagainandbeautifullydecoratedinpalepink,silverandivorywithitssidesopen,facingthebay.weha一vebeenblessedwithfineweather,andthelateafternoonsunshinesoverthewater.there’sadance

flooratoneendofthemarquee,ala一vishbuffetattheother.

rayandmymotheraredancingandlaughingwitheachother.ifeelbittersweetwatchingthemtogether.ihopechristianandilastlonger.idon’tknowwhati’ddoifheleftme.marryinhaste,repentatleisure.thesayinghauntsme.

kateisbesideme,lookingsobeautifulinherlongsilkgown.sheglancesatmeandfrowns.“hey,thisissupposedtobethehappiestdayofyourlife,”

shescolds.

“itis,”iwhisper.

“ohana,what’swrong?areyouwatchingyourmomandray?”

inodsadly.

“they’rehappy.”

“happierapart.”

“you’reha一vingdoub一ts?”kateasks,alarmed.

“no,notatall.it’sjust...ilovehimsomuch.”ifreeze,unableorunwillingtoarticulatemyfears.

“ana,it’sobviousheadoresyou.iknowyouhadanunconventionalstarttoyourrelationship,buticanseehowhappyyou’vebothbeenoverthepastmonth.”shegraspsmyhands,squeezingthem.“besides,it’stoolatenow,”

sheadds,grinningatme.

igiggle.trustkatetopointouttheobvious.shepullsmeintoakatherineka一vanaghspecialhug.“ana,you’llbefine.andifhedoeshurtonehaironyourhead,he’llha一vemetoanswerto.”releasingme,shegrinsatwhoever

isbehindme.

“hi,baby.”christianputshisarmsaroundme,surprisingme,andkissesmytemple.“kate,”heacknowledges.he’sstillcooltowardherevenaftersixweeks.

“helloagain,christian.i’mofftofindyourbestman,whohappenstobemybestman,too.”withasmiletousboth,sheheadsovertoelliot,whoisdrinkingwithherbrotherethanandourfriendjosé.

“timetogo,”christianmurmurs.

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fiftyshadesfreed“already?thisisthefirstpartyi’vebeentowhereidon’tmindbeingthecenterofattention.”iturninhisarmstofacehim.

“youdeservetobe.youlookstunning,anastasia.”

“sodoyou.”

hesmilesdownatme,hisexpressionheating.“thisbeautifuldressbecomesyou.”

“thisoldthing?”iflushshylyandpullatthefinelacetrimofthesimple,fittedweddingdressdesignedformebykate’smother.ilovethatthelaceisjustofftheshoulder;demure,yetalluring,ihope.hebendsandkissesme.“let’s

go.idon’twanttoshareyouwithallthesepeopleanymore.”

“canwelea一veourownwedding?”

“baby,it’sourparty,andwecandowhateverwewant.we’vecutthecake.

andrightnow,i’dliketowhiskyouawayandha一veyoualltomyself.”

igiggle.“youha一vemeforalifetime,mr.grey.”

“i’mverygladtohearthat,mrs.grey.”

“oh,thereyoutwoare!suchlovebirds.”

igroaninwardly...grace’smotherhasfoundus.

“christian,darling—onemoredancewithyourgrandma?”

christian’slipspurseslightly.

“ofcourse,grandmother.”

“andyou,beautifulanastasia,goandmakeanoldmanhappy—dancewiththeo.”

“theo?”

“grandpatrevelyan.’

“oh,ithinkyoucancallmegrandma.now,youtwoseriouslyneedtogetworkingonmygreat-grandkids.iwon’tlasttoomuchlonger.”shegivesusbothasimperingsmile.christianblinksatherinhorror.

“come,grandmother,”hesays,hurriedlytakingherhandandleadinghertothedancefloor.heglancesbackatme,practicallypouting,androllshiseyes.“laters,baby.”

asiwalktowardgrandpatrevelyan,joséaccostsme.

“iwon’taskyouforanotherdance.ithinkimonopolizedtoomuchofyourtimeonthedancefloorasitis...i’mhappytoseeyouhappy,buti’m

serious,ana.i’llbehere...ifyouneedme.”

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“josé,thankyou.you’reagoodfriend.”

“imeanit.”hisdarkeyesburnbrightwithsincerity.

“iknowyoudo.thankyou,josé.nowifyou’llpleaseexcuseme—iha一veadatewithanoldman.”

heblinksatmeinincomprehension.

“christian’sgrandfather,”iclarify.

hegrins.“goodluckwiththat,annie.goodluckwitheverything.”

“thanks,josé.”

aftermydancewithchristian’sever-charminggrandfather,istandbythefrenchdoors,watchingthesunsinkslowlyoverseattle,castingbright

orangeandaquamarineshadowsacrossthebay.

“let’sgo,”christianurges.

“iha一vetochange.”igrasphishand,meaningtopullhimthroughthefrench

windowsandupstairswithme.hefrowns,notunderstanding,andtugsgently

onmyhand,haltingme.

“ithoughtyouwantedtobetheonetotakethisdressoff,”iexplain.hiseyes

lightup.

“correct.”hegivesmealasciviousgrin.“buti’mnotundressingyouhere.

wewouldn’tlea一veuntil...idon’tknow...”hewa一veshislong-fingeredhand,

lea一vinghissentenceunfinishedbuthismeaningquiteclear.

iflushandletgoofhishand.

“anddon’ttakeyourhairdowneither,”hemurmursdarkly.

“but—”

“nobuts,anastasia.youlookbeautiful.andiwanttobetheonetoundress

you.”

oh.ifrown.

“packyourgoing-awayclothes,”heorders.“you’llneedthem.taylorhas

yourmainsuitcase.”

“okay.”whathashegotplanned?hehasn’ttoldmewherewe’regoing.in

fact,idon’tthinkanyoneknowswherewe’regoing.neithermianorkatehas

managedtoinveigletheinformationoutofhim.iturntowheremymotherand

katearehoveringnearby.

“i’mnotchanging.”

“what?”mymothersays.

“christiandoesn’twantmeto.”ishrugasifthisshouldexplaineverything.

herbrowfurrowsbriefly.

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“youdidn’tpromisetoobey,”sheremindsmetactfully.katetriestodisguise

hersnortasacough.inarrowmyeyesather.neithershenormymother

ha一veanyideaofthefightchristianandihadaboutthat.idon’twantto

rehashthatargument.jeez,canmyfiftyshadessulk...andha一ve

nightmares.thememoryissobering.

“iknow,mom,buthelikesthisdress,andiwanttopleasehim.”

herexpressionsoftens.katerollshereyesandtactfullymovesawaytolea一ve

mealonewithmymother.

“youlooksolovely,darling.”carlagentlytugsataloosetendrilofmyhair

andstrokesmychin.“iamsoproudofyou,honey.you’regoingtomake

christianaveryhappyman.”shepullsmeintoahug.ohmom!“ican’t

believehowgrown-upyoulookrightnow.beginninganewlife...just

rememberthatmenarefromadifferentplanet,andyou’llbefine.”

igiggle.christianisfromadifferentuniverse,ifonlysheknew.

“thanks,mom.”

rayjoinsus,smilingsweetlyatbothmomandme.

“youmadeabeautifulbabygirl,carla,”hesays,hiseyesglowingwithpride.

helookssodapperinhisblacktuxandpalepinkwaistcoat.tearsprickthe

backofmyeyes.ohno...sofariha一vemanagednottocry.

“andyouwatchedherandhelpedhergrowup,ray,”carla’svoiceiswistful.

“andilovedeverysingleminute.youmakeonehellofabride,annie,”ray

tucksthesameloosestrandofhairbehindmyear.

“oh,dad...”istifleasob,andhehugsmeinhisbrief,awkwardway.

“you’llmakeonehellofawife,too,”hewhispers,hisvoicehoarse.whenhe

releasesme,christianisbackatmyside.

rayshakeshishandwarmly.“lookaftermygirl,christian.”

“ifullyintendto,ray.carla.”henodsatmystepdadandkissesmymom.

therestoftheweddingguestsha一veformedalonghumanarchforusto

tra一velthrough,leadingroundtothefrontofthehouse.

“ready?”christiansays.

“yes.”

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takingmyhand,heleadsmeundertheiroutstretchedarmswhileourguests

shoutgoodluckandcongratulationsandshoweruswithrice.waitingwith

smilesandhugsattheendofthearcharegraceandcarrick.inturnthey

hugandkissusboth.graceisemotionalagainaswebidthemhasty

goodbyes.

tayloriswaitingtowhiskusawayintheaudisuv.aschristianholdsthe

cardooropenforme,iturnandtossmybouquetofwhiteandpinkrosesinto

thecrowdofyoungwomenthathasgathered.miatriumphantlyholdsitaloft,

grinningfromeartoear.asislideintothesuvlaughingatmia’saudacious

catch,christianbendstogatherthehemofmydress.oncei’msafelyin,he

bidsthewaitingcrowdafarewell.

taylorholdsthecardooropenforhim.“congratulations,sir.”

“thankyou,taylor,”christianrepliesasheseatshimselfbesideme.

astaylorpullsaway,thevehicleisshoweredwithricebyourwedding

guests.christiangraspsmyhandandkissesmyknuckles.

“sofarsogood,mrs.grey?”

“sofarsowonderful,mr.grey.wherearewegoing?”

“sea-tac,”hesayssimplyandsmilesasphinxlikesmile.hmm...whatis

heplanning?

taylordoesnotheadforthedepartureterminalasiexpectbutthrougha

securitygateanddirectlyontothetarmac.what?andtheniseeher—

christian’sjet...greyenterprisesholdingsinc.inlargebluelettering

acrossherfuselage.

“don’ttellmeyou’remisusingcompanypropertyagain!”

“oh,ihopeso,anastasia.”christiangrins.

taylorhaltsatthefootofthestepsleadinguptotheplaneandleapsoutof

theauditoopenchristian’sdoor.theyha一veabriefdiscussion,then

christianopensmydoor—andratherthansteppingbacktogivemeroomto

climbout,heleansinandliftsme.

whoa!

“whatareyoudoing?”isqueak.

“carryingyouoverthethreshold,”hesays.

“oh.”isn’tthatsupposedtobeathome?

hecarriesmeeffortlesslyupthesteps,andtaylorfollowswithmysmall

suitcase.helea一vesitonthethresholdoftheplanebefore