五十度灰(Fifty Shades of Grey)英文版 Part II 18

“you’llmarryme?”hewhispers,incredulous.

inodnervously,flushingandanxiousandnotquite

believinghisreaction—thismanwhomithoughti’dlost.

howcouldhenotunderstandhowmuchilovehim?

“sayit,”heorderssoftly,hisgazeintenseandhot.

“yes,i’llmarryyou.”

heinhalessharplyandmovessuddenly,grabbingme

andswingingmeroundinamostun-fiftylikemanner.he’s

laughing,youngandcarefree,radiatingjoyfulelation.i

grabhisarmstoholdon,feelinghismusclesripplebeneath

myfingers,andhisinfectiouslaughtersweepsmeup—

dizzy,addled,agirltotallyandutterlysmittenwithher

beautifulman.heputsmedownandkissesme.hard.his

handsareoneithersideofmyface,histongueinsistent,

persuasive...arousing.

“oh,ana,”hebreathesagainstmylips,andit’san

exultationthatlea一vesmereeling.helovesme,ofthati

ha一venodoub一t,andisa一vorthetasteofthisdeliciousman,

thismanithoughtimightneverseeagain.hisjoyis

evident—hiseyesshining,hisyouthfulsmile—andhisrelief

isalmostpalpable.

“ithoughti’dlostyou,”imurmur,stilldazzledand

breathlessfromhiskiss.

“baby,itwilltakemorethanamalfunctioning135to

keepmeawayfromyou.”

“135?”

“charlietango.she’saeurocopter135,thesafestin

itsclass.”someunnamedbutdarkemotioncrosseshis

facebriefly,distractingme.whatisn’thesaying?beforei

canaskhim,hestillsandlooksdownatme,frowning,and

foramomentithinkhe’sgoingtotellme.iblinkupinto

hisspeculativegrayeyes.

“waitaminute.youga一vethistomebeforewesaw

flynn,”hesays,holdingupthekeychain.helooksalmost

horrified.

ohdear,where’shegoingwiththis?inod,keepinga

straightface.

hismouthdropsopen.

ishrugapologetically.“iwantedyoutoknowthat

whateverflynnsaid,itwouldn’tmakeadifferencetome.”

christianblinksatmeindisbelief.“soallyesterday

evening,wheniwasbeggingyouforananswer,ihadit

already?”he’sdismayed.inodagain,tryingdesperately

togaugehisreaction.hegazesatmeinstupefiedwonder,

butthennarrowshiseyesandhismouthtwistswith

amusedirony.

“allthatworry,”hewhispersominously.igrinathim

andshrugoncemore.“oh,don’ttryandgetcutewithme,

misssteele.rightnow,iwant...”herunshishand

throughhishair,thenshakeshisheadandchangestack.

“ican’tbelieveyouleftmehanging.”hiswhisperis

lacedwithdisbelief.hisexpressionalterssub一tly,hiseyes

gleamingwickedly,hismouthtwitchingintoacarnalsmile.

holyhell.athrillrunsthroughme.what’shethinking?

“ibelievesomeretributionisinorder,misssteele,”he

sayssoftly.

retribution?ohshit!iknowhe’splaying—butitake

acautiousstepbackfromhimanyway.

hegrins.“isthatthegame?”hewhispers.“becausei

willcatchyou.”andhiseyesburnwithabrightplayful

intensity.“andyou’rebitingyourlip,”hesays

threateningly.

allofmyinsidestightenatonce.ohmy.myfuture

husbandwantstoplay.itakeanotherstepback,thenturn

torun—butinvain.christiangrabsme,andinoneeasy

swoopwhileisquealwithdelight,surprise,andshock.he

hoistsmeoverhisshoulderandheadsdownthehall.

“christian!”ihiss,mindfulthatjoséisupstairs,though

whetherhecouldhearusisdoub一tful.isteadymyselfby

claspinghislowerback,thenonabra一veimpulse,iswat

hisbehind.heswatsmerightback.

“ow!”iyelp.

“showertime,”hedeclarestriumphantly.

“putmedown!”itryandfailtosounddisapproving.

mystruggleisfutile—hisarmisfirmlyclampedovermy

thighs—andforsomereasonicannotstopgiggling.

“fondoftheseshoes?”heasksamusedasheopens

thedoortohisbathroom.

“ipreferthemtobetouchingthefloor.”iattemptto

snarlathim,butit’snotveryeffectiveasican’tkeepthe

laughteroutofmyvoice.

“yourwishismycommand,misssteele.”without

puttingmedown,heslipsoffbothofmyshoesandlets

themclattertothetilefloor.pausingbythevanity,he

emptieshispockets—deadblackberry,keys,wallet,the

keychain.icanonlyimaginewhatilooklikeinthemirror

fromthisangle.whenhe’sfinished,hemarchesdirectly

intohisoverlargeshower.

“christian!”iscoldloudly—hisintentisnowclear.

heswitchesthewateronatmax.jeez!arcticwater

spurtsovermybackside,andisqueal—thenstop,mindful

oncemorethatjoséisaboveus.it’scoldandi’mfully

clothed.thechillingwatersoaksintomydress,my

panties,andmybra.i’mdrenchedandicannotstop

giggling.

“no!”isqueal.“putmedown!”iswathimagain,

harderthistime,andchristianreleasesme,lettingmeslide

downhisnowsoakedbody.hiswhiteshirtisstucktohis

chestandhissuitpantsaresodden.iamsoaked,too,

flushed,giddyandbreathless,andhe’sgrinningdownat

me,lookingso...sounbelievablyhot.

hesobers,hiseyesshining,andcupsmyfaceagain,

drawingmylipstohis.hiskissisgentle,cherishing,and

totallydistracting.inolongercarethatiamfullyclothed

andsoakingwetinchristian’sshower.it’sjustthetwoof

usbeneaththecascadingwater.he’sback,he’ssafe,he’s

mine.

myhandsmoveinvoluntarilytohisshirtasitclingsto

everylineandsinewofhischest,revealingthehair

scrunchedbeneaththewhitewetness.iyanktheshirthem

outofhispants,andhegroansagainstmymouth,buthis

lipsdonotlea一vemine.asiunbuttonhisshirt,hereaches

formyzipper,slowlyslidingtheclaspdownmydress.his

lipsbecomemoreinsistent,moreprovocative,histongue

invadingmymouth—andmybodyexplodeswithdesire.i

tughisshirthard,rippingitopen.thebuttonsfly

everywhere,ricochetingoffthetilesanddisappearingonto

theshowerfloor.asistripthewetmaterialoffhis

shouldersanddownhisarms,ipresshimintothewall,

hamperinghisattemptstoundressme.“cufflinks,”he

murmurs,holdinguphiswristswherehisshirthangs

soddenandlimp.

withscramblingfingers,ireleasefirstoneandthenthe

othercuff,lettinghisgoldcufflinksfallcarelesslytothetiled

floorandhisshirtfollows.hiseyessearchminethrough

thecascadingwater,hisgazeburning,carnal,heatedlike

thewater.ireachforthewaistbandofhispants,buthe

shakeshisheadandgrabsmyshoulders,spinningme

roundsoiamfacingawayfromhim.hefinishesthelong

journeysouthwithmyzipper,smoothesmywethairaway

frommyneck,andrunshistongueupmynecktomy

hairlineandbackagain,kissingandsuckingashegoes.

imoanandslowlyhepeelsmydressoffmyshoulders

anddownpastmybreasts,kissingmyneckbeneathmy

ear.heunclaspsmybraandpushesitoffmyshoulders,

freeingmybreasts.hishandsreacharoundandcupeach

oneashemurmurshisappreciationinmyear.

“sobeautiful,”hewhispers.

myarmsaretrappedbymybraanddress,whichhang

unfastenedbelowmybreasts,myarmsstillinthesleeves

butmyhandsarefree.irollmyhead,givingchristian

betteraccesstomyneckandpushmybreastsintohis

magicalhands.ireachroundbehindmeandwelcomehis

sharpintakeofbreathasmyinquisitivefingersmake

contactwithhiserection.hepusheshisgroinintomy

welcominghands.dammit,whydidn’theletmetakehis

pantsoff?

hetugsonmynipples,andastheyhardenandstretch

underhisexperttouch,allthoughtsofhispantsdisappear

andpleasurespikessharpandlibidinousinmybelly.ilean

myheadbackagainsthimandgroan.

“yes,”hebreathesandturnsmeoncemore,capturing

mymouthwithhis.hepeelsmybra,dressandpanties

downsotheyjoinhisshirtinasoggyheapontheshower

floor.

igrabthebodywashbesideus.christianstillsashe

realizeswhatiamabouttodo.staringhimstraightinthe

eye,isquirtsomeofthesweet-smellinggelintomypalm

andholdmyhandupinfrontofhischest,waitingforan

answertomyunspokenquestion.hiseyeswiden,thenhe

givesmeanalmostimperceptiblenod.

gentlyiplacemyhandonhissternumandstarttorub

thesoapintohisskin.hischestrisesasheinhalessharply,

buthestandsstock-still.afterabeat,hishandsclaspmy

hips,buthedoesn’tpushmeaway.hewatchesmewarily,

hislookintensemorethanscared,buthislipsareparted

ashisbreathingincreases.

“isthisokay?”iwhisper.

“yes.”hisshort,breathyreplyisalmostagasp.iam

remindedofthemanyshowerswe’vehadtogether,butthe

oneattheolympicisabittersweetmemory.well,nowi

cantouchhim.iwashhimusinggentlecircles,cleaningmy

man,movingtohisunderarms,overhisribs,downhisflat

firmbelly,towardhishappytrail,andthewaistbandofhis

pants.

“myturn,”hewhispersandreachesfortheshampoo,

shiftingusoutofrangeofthestreamofwaterandsquirting

someontothetopofmyhead.

ithinkthisismycuetostopwashinghim,soihook

myfingersintohiswaistband.heworkstheshampoointo

myhair,hisfirm,longfingersmassagingmyscalp.

groaninginappreciation,iclosemyeyesandgivemyself

overtothehea一venlysensation.afterallthestressofthe

evening,thisisjustwhatineed.

hechucklesandiopenoneeyetofindhimsmiling

downatme.“youlike?”

“hmm...”

hegrins.“me,too,”hesaysandleansovertokissmy

forehead,hisfingerscontinuingtheirsweet,firmkneading

ofmyscalp.

“turnround,”hesaysauthoritatively.idoasi’mtold,

andhisfingersslowlyworkovermyhead,cleansing,

relaxing,lovingmeastheygo.oh,thisisbliss.hereaches

formoreshampooandgentlywashesthelongtresses

downmyback.whenhe’sfinished,hepullsmeback

undertheshower.

“leanyourheadback,”heordersquietly.

iwillinglycomply,andhecarefullyrinsesoutthesuds.

whenhe’sdone,ifacehimoncemoreandmakea

beelineforhispants.

“iwanttowashallofyou,”

iwhisper.hesmilesthatlopsidedsmileandliftshis

handsinagesturethatsays“i’mallyours,baby.”igrin;it

feelslikechristmas.imakeshortworkofhiszipper,and

soonhispantsandboxersjointherestofourclothing.i

standandreachforthebodywashandthefreshwater

sponge.

“lookslikeyou’repleasedtoseeme,”imurmur

dryly.

“i’malwayspleasedtoseeyou,misssteele.”he

smirksatme.

isoapthesponge,thenretracemyjourneyoverhis

chest.he’smorerelaxed—maybebecausei’mnot

actuallytouchinghim.iheadsouthwiththesponge,across

hisbelly,alongthehappytrail,throughhispubichair,and

overanduphiserection.

ipeekupathim,andheregardsmewithhoodedeyes

andsensuallonging.hmm...ilikethislook.idropthe

spongeandusemyhands,graspinghimfirmly.hecloses

hiseyes,tipshisheadback,andgroans,thrustinghiships

intomyhands.

ohyes!it’ssoarousing.myinnergoddesshas

resurfacedafterhereveningofrockingandweepinginthe

corner,andshe’swearingharlot-redlipstick.

hisburningeyessuddenlylockwithmine.he’s

rememberedsomething.

“it’ssaturday,”heexclaims,eyesalightwithsalacious

wonder,andhegraspsmywaist,pullingmetohimand

kissingmesa一vagely.

whoa—changeofpace!

hishandssweepdownmyslick,wetbody,roundto

mysex,hisfingersexploring,teasing,andhismouthis

relentless,lea一vingmebreathless.hisotherhandisinmy

wethair,holdingmeinplacewhileibearthefullforceof

hispassionunleashed.hisfingersmoveinsideme.

“ahh,”imoanintohismouth.

“yes,”hehissesandliftsme,hishandsbeneathmy

backside.“wrapyourlegsaroundme,baby.”mylegs

foldaroundhim,andiclinglikealimpettohisneck.he

bracesmeagainstthewalloftheshowerandpauses,

gazingdownatme.

“eyesopen,”hemurmurs.“iwanttoseeyou.”

iblinkupathim,myhearthammering,myblood

pulsinghotandhea一vythroughmybody,desire,realand

rampantsurgingthroughme.thenheeasesintomeoh-soslowly,

fillingme,claimingme,skinagainstskin.ipush

downagainsthimandgroanloudly.oncefullyinsideme,

hepausesoncemore,hisfacestrained,intense.

“youaremine,anastasia,”hewhispers.

“always.”

hesmilesvictoriouslyandshifts,makingmegasp.

“andnowwecanleteveryoneknow,becauseyou

saidyes.”hisvoiceisreverential,andheleansdown,

capturingmymouthwithhis,andstartstomove...slow

andsweet.iclosemyeyesandtiltmyheadbackasmy

bodybows,mywillsubmittingtohis,sla一vetohis

intoxicatingslowrhythm.

histeethgrazemyjaw,mychin,anddownmyneckas

hepicksupthepace,pushingmeonward,upward—away

fromthisearthlyplane,theteemingshower,theevening’s

chillingfright.it’sjustmeandmymanmovinginunison,

movingasone—eachcompletelyabsorbedintheother—

ourgaspsandgruntsmingling.irevelintheexquisite

feelingofhispossessionasmybodybloomsandflowers

aroundhim.

icouldha一velosthim...andilovehim...ilove

himsomuch,andi’msuddenlyovercomebytheenormity

ofmyloveandthedepthofmycommitmenttohim.iwill

spendtherestofmylifelovingthisman,andwiththat

awe-inspiringthought,idetonatearoundhim—ahealing,

catharticorgasm,cryingouthisnameastearsflowdown

mycheeks.

hereacheshisclimaxandpourshimselfintome.with

hisfaceburiedinmyneck,hesinkstothefloor,holding

metightly,kissingmyface,andkissingawaymytearsas

thewarmwaterspillsdownaroundus,washingusclean.

“myfingersarepruny,”imurmur,postcoitalandsatedas

ileanagainsthischest.heraisesmyfingerstohislipsand

kisseseachinturn.

“weshouldreallygetoutofthisshower.”

“i’mcomfortablehere.”i’msittingbetweenhislegs

andhe’sholdingmeclose.idon’twanttomove.

christianmurmurshisassent.butsuddenlyi’mbone

tired,world-weary.somuchhashappenedthislastweek

—enoughforalifetimeofdrama—andnowi’m

gettingmarried.adisbelievinggiggleescapesmylips.

“somethingamusingyou,misssteele?”heasks

fondly.

“it’sbeenabusyweek.”

hegrins.“thatithas.”

“ithankgodyou’rebackinonepiece,mr.grey,”i

whisper,soberingatthethoughtofwhatmightha一vebeen.

hetensesandiimmediatelyregretremindinghim.

“iwasscared,”heconfessesmuchtomysurprise.

“earlier?”

henods,hisexpressionserious.

holyshit.“soyoumadelightofittoreassureyour

family?”

“yes.iwastoolowtolandwell.butsomehowidid.”

crap.myeyessweepuptohis,andhelooksgra一veas

thewatercascadesoverus.“howcloseacallwasit?”he

gazesdownatme.

“close,”hepauses.“forafewawfulseconds,i

thoughti’dneverseeyouagain.”

ihughimtightly.“ican’timaginemylifewithoutyou,

christian.iloveyousomuchitfrightensme.”

“me,too,”hebreathes.“mylifewouldbeempty

withoutyou.iloveyousomuch.”hisarmstightenaround

meandhenuzzlesmyhair.“iwon’teverletyougo.”

“idon’twanttogo,ever.”ikisshisneck,andheleans

downandkissesmegently.

afteramoment,heshifts.“come—let’sgetyoudry

andintobed.i’mexhaustedandyoulookbeat.”

ileanbackandarchaneyebrowathischoiceof

words.hecockshisheadtoonesideandsmirksatme.

“youha一vesomethingtosay,misssteele?”

ishakemyheadandclamberunsteadilytomyfeet.

iamsittingupinbed.christianinsistedondryingmyhair

—he’squiteskilledatit.howthathappenedisan

unpleasantthought,soidismissitimmediately.it’safter

twointhemorning,andiamreadytosleep.christian

gazesdownatmeandreexaminesthekeychainbefore

climbingintobed.heshakeshishead,incredulousonce

more.

“thisissoneat.thebestbirthdaypresenti’veever

had.”heglancesatme,hiseyessoftandwarm.“better

thanmysignedguiseppedenataleposter.”

“iwouldha一vetoldyouearlier,butasitwasyour

birthday...whatdoyougivethemanwhohas

everything?ithoughti’dgiveyou...me.”

heputsthekeychaindownonthebedsidetableand

snugglesinbesideme,pullingmeintohisarmsagainsthis

chestsothatwe’respooning.

“it’sperfect.likeyou.”

ismirk,thoughhecan’tseemyexpression.“iamfar

fromperfect,christian.”

“areyousmirkingatme,misssteele?”

howdoesheknow?“maybe.”igiggle.“caniask

yousomething?

“ofcourse,”henuzzlesmyneck.

“youdidn’tcallonyourtripbackfromportland.was

thatreallybecauseofjosé?youwereworriedaboutme

beingherealonewithhim?”

christiansaysnothing.iturntofacehim,andhiseyes

arewideasireproachhim.

“doyouknowhowridiculousthatis?howmuch

stressyouputyourfamilyandmethrough?wealllove

youverymuch.”

heblinksacoupleoftimesandthengivesmehisshy

smile.“ihadnoideayou’dallbesoworried.”

ipursemylips.“whenareyougoingtogetitthrough

yourthickskullthatyouareloved?”

“thickskull?”hiseyebrowswideninsurprise.

inod.“yes.thickskull.”

“idon’tthinkthebonedensityofmyheadis

significantlyhigherthananywhereelseinmybody.”

“i’mserious!stoptryingtomakemelaugh.iamstilla

littlemadatyou,thoughthat’spartiallyeclipsedbythefact

thatyou’rehomesafeandsoundwhenithought...”my

voicefadesasirecallthoseanxiousfewhours.“well,you

knowwhatithought.”

hiseyessoftenandhereachesuptocaressmyface.

“i’msorry.okay.”

“yourpoormom,too.itwasverymoving,seeingyou

withher,”iwhisper.

hesmilesshyly.“i’veneverseenherthatway.”he

blinksatthememory.“yes,thatwasreallysomething.

she’snormallysoself-possessed.itwasquiteashock.”

“see?everyonelovesyou.”ismile.“perhapsnow

you’llstartbelievingit.”ileandownandkisshimgently.

“happybirthday,christian.i’mgladyou’rehereto

shareyourdaywithme.andyouha一ven’tseenwhati’ve

gotforyoutomorrowum...today.”ismirk.

“there’smore?”hesays,astounded,andhisface

eruptsintoabreathtakinggrin.

“ohyes,mr.grey,butyou’llha一vetowaituntilthen.”

iwakesuddenlyfromadreamornightmare,andmypulse

isthumping.iturn,panicked,andtomyrelief,christianis

fastasleepbesideme.becausei’veshifted,hestirsand

reachesoutinhissleep,drapinghisarmoverme,andrests

hisheadonmyshoulder,sighingsoftly.

theroomisfloodedwithlight.it’seighto’clock.

christianneversleepsthislate.iliebackandletmyracing

heartcalm.whytheanxiety?isittheaftermathoflast

night?

iturnandstareathim.he’shere.he’ssafe.itakea

deepsteadyingbreathandgazeathislovelyface.aface

thatisnowsofamiliar,allitsdipsandshadowseternally

etchedonmymind.

helooksmuchyoungerwhenhe’sasleep,andigrin

becausetodayhe’sawholeyearolder.ihugmyself,

thinkingaboutmypresent.oooh...whatwillhedo?

perhapsishouldstartbybringinghimbreakfastinbed.

besides,josémaystillbehere.

ifindjoséatthecounter,eatingabowlofcereal.i

can’thelpbutflushwheniseehim.heknowsi’vespent

thenightwithchristian.whydoisuddenlyfeelsoshy?

it’snotasifi’mnakedoranything.i’mwearingmysilk

floor-lengthwrap.

“morning,josé,”ismile,brazeningitout.

“hey,ana!”hisfacelightsup,genuinelypleasedto

seeme.there’snohintofteasingorsalaciouscontemptin

hisexpression.

“sleepwell?”iask.

“sure.someviewfromuphere.”

“yeah.it’sprettyspecial.”liketheownerofthis

apartment.“wantarealman’sbreakfast?”itease.

“lovesome.”

“it’schristian’sbirthdaytoday—i’mmakinghim

breakfastinbed.”

“heawake?”

“no,ithinkhe’sfriedfromyesterday.”iquickly

glanceawayfromhimandheadtothefridgesohecan’t

seemyblush.jeez,it’sonlyjosé.whenitaketheeggs

andbaconoutofthefridge,joséisgrinningatme.

“youreallylikehim,don’tyou?”

ipursemylips.“ilovehim,josé.”

hiseyeswidenmomentarilythenhegrins.“what’snot

tolove?”heasksgesturingroundthegreatroom.

iscowlathim.“gee,thanks!”

“hey,ana,justkidding.”

hmm...willialwaysha一vethisleveledatme?that

i’mmarryingchristianforhismoney?

“seriously,i’mkidding.you’veneverbeenthatkind

ofgirl.”

“omeletgoodforyou?”iask,changingthesubject.i

don’twanttoargue.

“sure.”

“andme,”christiansaysashesauntersintothegreat

room.holyfuck,he’swearingonlypajamabottomsthat

hanginthattotallyhotwayoffhiships—jeez!

“josé.”henods.

“christian.”joséreturnshisnodsolemnly.

christianturnstomeandsmirksasistare.he’sdone

thisonpurpose.inarrowmyeyesathim,desperately

tryingtorecovermyequilibrium,andchristian’s

expressionalterssub一tly.heknowsthatiknowwhathe’s

upto,andhedoesn’tcare.

“iwasgoingtobringyoubreakfastinbed.”

swaggeringover,hewrapshisarmaroundme,tiltsmy

chinup,andplantsaloudwetkissonmylips.very

unfifty!

“goodmorning,anastasia,”hesays.iwanttoscowl

athimandtellhimtobeha一ve—butit’shisbirthday.iflush.

whyishesoterritorial?

“goodmorning,christian.happybirthday.”igivehim

asmile,andhesmirksatme.

“i’mlookingforwardtomyotherpresent,”hesays

andthat’sit.iflushthecoloroftheredroomofpainand

glancenervouslyatjosé,wholookslikehe’sswallowed

somethingunpleasant.iturnawayandstartpreparingthe

food.

“sowhatareyourplanstoday,josé?”christianasks,

seeminglycasualashesitsdownonabarstool.

“i’mheadinguptoseemydadandray,ana’sdad.”

christianfrowns.

“theyknoweachother?”

“yeah,theywereinthearmytogether.theylost

contactuntilanaandiwereincollegetogether.it’skinda

cute.they’rebestbudsnow.we’regoingonafishing

trip.”

“fishing?”christianisgenuinelyinterested.

“yeah—somegreatcatchesinthesecoastalwaters.

thesteelheadscangrowwaybig.”

“true.mybrotherelliotandilandedathirty-four

poundsteelheadonce.”

they’retalkingfishing?whatisitaboutfishing?iha一ve

neverunderstoodit.