五十度灰(Fifty Shades of Grey)英文版 Part II 3

laugh!

“yes.”istruggletomaintainmylookofmoraloutrage.

“anarse?”christiansaysagain.thistimehislips

twitchwitharepressedsmile.

“don’tmakemelaughwheniammadatyou!”i

shout.

andhesmiles,adazzling,full-toothed,all-americanboy

smile,andican’thelpit.iamgrinningandlaughing,

too.howcouldinotbeaffectedbythejoyiseeinhis

smile?

“justbecauseiha一veastupiddamngrinonmyface

doesn’tmeani’mnotmadashellatyou,”imutter

breathlessly,tryingtosuppressmyhigh-schoolcheerleader

giggling.thoughiwasnevercheerleader—

thebitterthoughtcrossesmymind.

heleansin,andithinkhe’sgoingtokissmebuthe

doesn’t.henuzzlesmyhairandinhalesdeeply.

“asever,misssteele,youareunexpected.”heleans

backandgazesatme,hiseyesdancingwithhumor.“so

areyougoingtoinvitemein,oramitobesentpacking

forexercisingmydemocraticrightasanamericancitizen,

entrepreneur,andconsumertopurchasewhateveridamn

wellplease?”

“ha一veyouspokentodr.flynnaboutthis?”

helaughs.“areyougoingtoletmeinornot,

anastasia?”

itryforagrudginglook—bitingmyliphelps—buti’m

smilingasiopenthedoor.christianturnsandwa一vesto

taylor,andtheaudipullsaway.

it’soddha一vingchristiangreyintheapartment.theplace

feelstoosmallforhim.

iamstillmadathim—hisstalkingknowsnobounds,

anditdawnsonmethatthisishowheknewabouttheemail

beingmonitoredatsip.heprobablyknowsmore

aboutsipthanido.thethoughtisunsa一vory.

whatcanido?whydoesheha一vethisneedtokeep

mesafe?iamagrown-up—sortof—forhea一ven’ssake.

whatcanidotoreassurehim?

igazeathisbeautifulfaceashepacestheroomlikea

cagedpredator,andmyangersubsides.seeinghimherein

myspacewhenithoughtwewereoverisheartwarming.

morethanheartwarming,ilovehim,andmyheartswells

withanervous,headyelation.heglancesaround,

assessinghissurroundings.

“niceplace,”hesays.

“kate’sparentsboughtitforher.”

henodsdistractedly,andhisboldgrayeyescometo

restonmine,staringatme.

“er...wouldyoulikeadrink?”imutter,flushingwith

nerves.

“no,thankyou,anastasia.”hiseyesdarken.

ohcrap.whyamisonervous?

“whatwouldyouliketodo,anastasia?”heaskssoftly

ashewalkstowardme,allferalandhot.“iknowwhati

wanttodo,”headdsinalowvoice.

ibackupuntilibumpagainsttheconcretekitchen

island.

“i’mstillmadatyou.”

“iknow.”hesmilesalopsidedapologeticsmileandi

melt...well,maybenotsomad.

“wouldyoulikesomethingtoeat?”iask.

henodsslowly.“yes.you,”hemurmurs.everything

southofmywaistlineclenches.i’mseducedbyhisvoice

alone,butthatlook,thathungryi-want-you-nowlook—

ohmy.

he’sstandinginfrontofme,notquitetouching,staring

downintomyeyesandbathingmeintheheatthat’s

radiatingoffhisbody.i’mstiflinglyhot,flustered,andmy

legsarelikejellyasdarkdesirecoursesthroughme.i

wanthim.

“ha一veyoueatentoday?”hemurmurs.

“ihadasandwichatlunch,”iwhisper.idon’twantto

talkfood.

henarrowshiseyes.“youneedtoeat.”

“i’mreallynothungryrightnow...forfood.”

“whatareyouhungryfor,misssteele?”

“ithinkyouknow,mr.grey.”

heleansdown,andagainithinkhe’sgoingtokissme,

buthedoesn’t.

“doyouwantmetokissyou,anastasia?”hewhispers

softlyinmyear.

“yes,”ibreathe.

“where?”

“everywhere.”

“you’regoingtoha一vetobeabitmorespecificthan

that.itoldyouiamnotgoingtotouchyouuntilyoubeg

meandtellmewhattodo.”

myinnergoddessiswrithingonherchaiselongue.i

amlost;he’snotplayingfair.

“please,”iwhisper.

“pleasewhat?”

“touchme.”

“where,baby?”

heissotantalizinglyclose,hisscentintoxicating.i

reachup,andimmediatelyhestepsback.

“no,no,”hechides,hiseyessuddenlywideand

alarmed.

“what?”no...comeback.

“no.”heshakeshishead.

“notatall?”ican’tkeepthelongingoutofmyvoice.

helooksatmeuncertainly,andi’memboldenedby

hishesitation.isteptowardhim,andhestepsback,

holdinguphishandsindefense,butsmiling.

“look,ana.”it’sawarning,andherunshishand

throughhishair,exasperated.

“sometimesyoudon’tmind,”iobserveplaintively.

“perhapsishouldfindamarkerpen,andwecouldmap

outtheno-goareas.”

heraisesaneyebrow.“that’snotabadidea.

where’syourbedroom?”

inodinthedirection.ishedeliberatelychangingthe

subject?

“ha一veyoubeentakingyourpill?”

ohshit.mypill.

hisfacefallsatmyexpression.

“no,”isqueak.

“isee,”hesays,andhislipspressintoathinline.

“come,let’sha一vesomethingtoeat.”

ohno!

“ithoughtweweregoingtobed!iwanttogotobed

withyou.”

“iknow,baby.”hesmiles,andsuddenlydarting

towardme,hegrabsmywristsandpullsmeintohisarms

sothathisbodyispressedagainstmine.

“youneedtoeatandsodoi,”hemurmurs,burning

grayeyesgazingdownatme.“besides...anticipationis

thekeytoseduction,andrightnow,i’mreallyintodelayed

gratification.”

huh,sincewhen?

“i’mseducedandiwantmygratificationnow.i’llbeg,

please.”isoundwhiney.myinnergoddessisbeside

herself.

hesmilesatmetenderly.“eat.you’retooslender.”

hekissesmyforeheadandreleasesme.

thisisagame,partofsomeevilplan.iscowlathim.

“i’mstillmadthatyouboughtsip,andnowiammad

atyoubecauseyou’remakingmewait.”ipout.

“youareoneangrylittlemadam,aren’tyou?you’ll

feelbetterafteragoodmeal.”

“iknowwhati’llfeelbetterafter.”

“anastasiasteele,i’mshocked.”histoneisgently

mocking.

“stopteasingme.youdon’tfightfair.”

hestifleshisgrinbybitinghislowerlip.helooks

simplyadorable...playfulchristiantoyingwithmylibido.

ifonlymyseductionskillswerebetter,i’dknowwhatto

do,butnotbeingabletotouchhimdoeshamperme.

myinnergoddessnarrowshereyesandlooks

thoughtful.weneedtoworkonthis.

aschristianandigazeateachother—mehot,

botheredandyearningandhim,relaxedandamusedatmy

expense—irealizeiha一venofoodintheapartment.

“icouldcooksomething—exceptwe’llha一vetogo

shopping.”

“shopping?”

“forgroceries.”

“youha一venofoodhere?”hisexpressionhardens.

ishakemyhead.crap,helooksquiteangry.

“let’sgoshopping,then,”hesayssternlyasheturns

onhisheelandheadsforthedoor,openingitwideforme.

“whenwasthelasttimeyouwereinasupermarket?”

christianlooksoutofplace,buthefollowsme

dutifully,holdingashoppingbasket.

“ican’tremember.”

“doesmrs.jonesdoalltheshopping?”

“ithinktaylorhelpsher.i’mnotsure.”

“areyouhappywithastir-fry?it’squick.”

“stir-frysoundsgood.”christiangrins,nodoub一t

figuringoutmyulteriormotiveforaspeedymeal.

“ha一vetheyworkedforyoulong?”

“taylor,fouryears,ithink.mrs.jonesaboutthe

same.whydidn’tyouha一veanyfoodintheapartment?”

“youknowwhy,”imurmur,flushing.

“itwasyouwholeftme,”hemuttersdisapprovingly.

“iknow,”ireplyinasmallvoice,notwantingthat

reminder.

wereachthecheckoutandsilentlystandinline.

ifihadn’tleft,wouldheha一veofferedthevanilla

alternative?iwonderidly.

“doyouha一veanythingtodrink?”hepullsmebackto

thepresent.

“beer...ithink.”

“i’llgetsomewine.”

ohdear.i’mnotsurewhatsortofwineisa一vailablein

ernie’ssupermarket.christianremergesemptyhanded,

grimacingwithalookofdisgust.

“there’sagoodliquorstorenextdoor,”isayquickly.

“i’llseewhattheyha一ve.”

maybeweshouldjustgotohisplace,thenwe

wouldn’tha一veallthishassle.iwatchashestrolls

purposefullyandwitheasygraceoutofthedoor.two

womencominginstopandstare.ohyes,eyemyfifty

shades,ithinkdespondently.

iwantthememoryofhiminmybed,buthe’splaying

hardtoget.maybeishould,too.myinnergoddessnods

franticallyinagreement.andasistandinline,wecomeup

withaplan.hmm...

christiancarriesthegrocerybagsintotheapartment.he’s

carriedthemaswe’vewalkedbacktotheapartmentfrom

thestore.helooksodd.nothisusualceodemeanorat

all.

“youlookvery—domestic.”

“noonehaseveraccusedmeofthatbefore,”hesays

dryly.heplacesthebagsonthekitchenisland.asistart

tounloadthem,hetakesoutabottleofwhitewineand

searchesforacorkscrew.

“thisplaceisstillnewtome.ithinktheopenerisin

thatdrawerthere.”ipointwithmychin.

thisfeelsso...normal.twopeople,gettingtoknow

eachother,ha一vingameal.yetit’ssostrange.thefearthat

i’dalwaysfeltinhispresencehasgone.we’vealready

donesomuchtogether,iblushjustthinkingaboutit,and

yetihardlyknowhim.

“whatareyouthinkingabout?”christianinterruptsmy

reverieasheshrugsoutofhispinstripejacketandplacesit

onthecouch.

“howlittleiknowyou,really.”

hegazesatmeandhiseyessoften.“youknowme

betterthananyone.”

“idon’tthinkthat’strue.”mrs.robinsoncomes

unbidden,andveryunwelcome,intomymind.

“itis,anastasia.iamavery,veryprivateperson.”

hehandsmeaglassofwhitewine.

“cheers,”hesays.

“cheers,”irespondtakingasipasheputsthebottlein

thefridge.

“canihelpyouwiththat?”heasks.

“noit’sfine...sit.”

“i’dliketohelp.”hisexpressionissincere.

“youcanchopthevegetables.”

“idon’tcook,”hesays,regardingtheknifeihandhim

withsuspicion.

“iimagineyoudon’tneedto.”iplaceachopping

boardandsomeredpeppersinfrontofhim.hestares

downattheminconfusion.

“you’veneverchoppedavegetable?”

“no.”

ismirkathim.

“areyousmirkingatme?”

“itappearsthisissomethingthaticandoandyou

can’t.let’sfaceit,christian,ithinkthisisafirst.here,i’ll

showyou.”

ibrushupagainsthimandhestepsback.myinner

goddesssitsupandtakesnotice.

“likethis.”islicetheredpepper,carefultoremove

theseeds.

“lookssimpleenough.”

“youshouldn’tha一veanytroublewithit,”imutter

ironically.

hegazesatmeimpassivelyforamomentthensets

abouthistaskasicontinuetopreparethedicedchicken.

hestartstoslice,carefully,slowly.ohmy,we’llbehere

allday.

iwashmyhandsandhuntforthewok,theoil,andthe

otheringredientsineed,repeatedlybrushingagainsthim—

myhip,myarm,myback,myhands.small,seemingly

innocenttouches.hestillseachtimeido.

“iknowwhatyou’redoing,anastasia,”hemurmurs

darkly,stillpreparingthefirstpepper.

“ithinkit’scalledcooking,”isay,flutteringmy

eyelashes.grabbinganotherknife,ijoinhimatthe

choppingboardpeelingandslicinggarlic,shallots,and

frenchbeans,continuallybumpingagainsthim.

“you’requitegoodatthis,”hemuttersashestartson

hissecondredpepper.

“chopping?”ibatmyeyelashesathim.“yearsof

practice.”ibrushagainsthimagain,thistimewithmy

behind.hestillsoncemore.

“ifyoudothatagain,anastasia,iamgoingtotakeyou

onthekitchenfloor.”

oh,wow.it’sworking.“you’llha一vetobegmefirst.”

“isthatachallenge?”

“maybe.”

heputsdownhisknifeandsauntersslowlyoverto

me,hiseyesburning.leaningpastme,heswitchesthegas

off.theoilinthewokquietsalmostimmediately.

“ithinkwe’lleatlater,”hesays.“putthechickeninthe

fridge.”

thisisnotasentenceihadeverexpectedtohearfrom

christiangrey,andonlyhecanmakeitsoundhot,really

hot.ipickupthebowlofdicedchicken,rathershakily

placeaplateontopofit,andstowitinthefridge.wheni

turnback,he’sbesideme.

“soyou’regoingtobeg?”iwhisper,bra一velygazing

intohisdarkeningeyes.

“no,anastasia.”heshakeshishead.“nobegging.”

hisvoiceissoft,seductive.

andwestandstaringateachother,drinkingeach

otherin—theatmospherechargingbetweenus,almost

crackling,neithersayinganything,justlooking.ibitemylip

asdesireforthisbeautifulmanseizesmewithavengeance,

ignitingmyblood,shallowingmybreath,poolingbelowmy

waist.iseemyreactionsreflectedinhisstance,inhis

eyes.

inabeat,hegrabsmebymyhipsandpullsmetohim

asmyhandsreachforhishairandhismouthclaimsme.

hepushesmeagainstthefridge,andihearthevague

protestingrattleofbottlesandjarsfromwithinashis

tonguefindsmine.imoanintohismouth,andoneofhis

handsmovesintomyhair,pullingmyheadbackaswe

kiss,sa一vagely.

“whatdoyouwant,anastasia?”hebreathes.

“you.”igasp.

“where?”

“bed.”

hebreaksfree,scoopsmeintohisarms,andcarries

mequicklyandseeminglywithoutanystrainintomy

bedroom.settingmeonmyfeetbesidemybed,heleans

downandswitchesonmybedsidelamp.heglances

quicklyroundtheroomandhastilyclosesthepalecream

curtains.

“nowwhat?”hesayssoftly.

“makelovetome.”

“how?”

jeez.

“youha一vegottotellme,baby.”

holycrap.“undressme.”iampantingalready.

hesmilesandhookshisindexfingerintomyopen

shirt,pullingmetowardhim.

“goodgirl,”hemurmurs,andwithouttakinghisblazing

eyesoffmine,slowlystartstounbuttonmyshirt.

tentativelyiputmyhandsonhisarmstosteady

myself.hedoesn’tcomplain.hisarmsareasafearea.

whenhe’sfinishedwiththebuttons,hepullsmyshirtover

myshoulders,andiletgoofhimtolettheshirtfalltothe

floor.hereachesdowntothewaistbandofmyjeans,

popsthebutton,andpullsdownthezipper.

“tellmewhatyouwant,anastasia.”hiseyessmolder

andhislipspartashetakesquickshallowbreaths.

“kissmefromheretohere,”iwhispertrailingmy

fingerfromthebaseofmyear,downmythroat.he

smoothesmyhairoutofthelineoffireandbends,lea一ving

sweetsoftkissesalongthepathmyfingertookandthen

backagain.

“myjeansandpanties,”imurmur,andhesmiles

againstmythroatbeforehedropstohiskneesinfrontof

me.oh,ifeelsopowerful.hookinghisthumbsintomy

jeans,hegentlypullsthemandmypantiesdownmylegs.i

stepoutofmypumpsandmyclothessothati’mleft

wearingonlymybra.hestopsandlooksupatme

expectantly,buthedoesn’tgetup.

“whatnow,anastasia?”

“kissme,”iwhisper.

“where?”

“youknowwhere.”

“where?”

oh,he’stakingnoprisoners.embarrassediquickly

pointattheapexofmythighs,andhegrinswickedly.i

closemyeyes,mortified,butatthesametimebeyond

aroused.

“oh,withpleasure,”hechuckles.hekissesmeand

unleasheshistongue,hisjoy-inspiringexperttongue.i

groanandfistmyhandsintohishair.hedoesn’tstop,his

tonguecirclingmyclitoris,drivingmeinsane,onandon,

roundandround.ahhh...it’sonlybeen...how

long...?oh...

“christian,please,”ibeg.idon’twanttocome

standingup.idon’tha一vethestrength.

“pleasewhat,anastasia?”

“makelovetome.”

“iam,”hemurmurs,gentlyblowingagainstme.

“no.iwantyouinsideme.”

“areyousure?”

“please.”

hedoesn’tstophissweet,exquisitetorture.imoan

loudly.

“christian...please.”

hestandsandgazesdownatme,andhislipsglisten

withtheevidenceofmyarousal.

holycow...

“well?”heasks.

“wellwhat?”ipant,staringupathiminfranticneed.

“i’mstilldressed.”

igapeathiminconfusion.

undresshim?yes,icandothis.ireachforhisshirt

andhestepsback.

“ohno,”headmonishes.shit,hemeanshisjeans.

oh,andthisgivesmeanidea.myinnergoddess

cheersloudlytotherafters,andidroptomykneesin

frontofhim.ratherclumsilyandwithshakingfingers,i

undohiswaistbandandfly,thenyankdownhisjeansand

boxers,andhespringsfree.wow.

ipeekupathimthroughmylashes,andhe’sgazingat

mewith...what?trepidation?awe?surprise?

hestepsoutofhisjeansandpullsoffhissocks,andi

takeholdofhiminmyhandandsqueezetightly,pushing

myhandbacklikehe’sshownmebefore.hegroansand

tenses,andhisbreathhissesthroughclenchedteeth.very

tentatively,iputhiminmymouthandsuck—hard.mmm,

hetastesgood.

“ahh.ana...whoa,gently.”

hecupsmyheadtenderly,andipushhimdeeperinto

mymouth,pressingmylipstogetherastightlyasican,

sheathingmyteeth,andsuckinghard.

“fuck,”hehisses.

oh,that’sagood,inspiring,sexysound,soidoit

again,pullinghislengthdeeper,swirlingmytonguearound

theend.hmm...ifeellikeaphrodite.

“ana,that’senough.nomore.”

idoitagain—beg,grey,beg—andagain.

“ana,you’vemadeyourpoint,”hegruntsthrough

grittedteeth.“idonotwanttocomeinyourmouth.”

idoitoncemore,andhebendsdown,graspsmeby

myshoulders,haulsmetomyfeet,andtossesmeonthe

bed.dragginghisshirtoverhishead,hethenreaches

downtohisdiscardedjeans,andlikeagoodboyscout,

producesafoilpacket.he’spanting,likeme.

“takeyourbraoff,”heorders.

isitupanddoasi’mtold.

“liedown.iwanttolookatyou.”

iliedown,gazingupathimasheslowlyrollsthe

condomon.iwanthimsobadly.hestaresdownatme

andlickshislips.

“youareafinesight,anastasiasteele.”hebends

overthebedandslowlycrawlsupandoverme,kissing

meashegoes.hekisseseachofmybreastsandteases

mynipplesinturn,whileigroanandwrithebeneathhim,

andhedoesn’tstop.

no...stop.iwantyou.

“christian,please.”

“pleasewhat?”hemurmursbetweenmybreasts.

“iwantyouinsideme.”

“doyounow?”

“please.”

gazingatme,hepushesmylegsapartwithhisand

movessothathe’shoveringaboveme.withouttakinghis

eyesoffmine,hesinksintomeatadeliciouslyslowpace.

iclosemyeyes,relishingthefullness,theexquisite

feelingofhispossession,instinctivelytiltingmypelvisupto

meethim,tojoinwithhim,groaningloudly.heeasesback

andveryslowlyfillsmeagain.myfingersfindtheirway

intohissilkenunrulyhair,andheoh-so-slowlymovesin

andoutagain.

“faster,christian,faster...please.”

hegazesdownatmeintriumphandkissesmehard,

thenreallystartstomove—holycow,apunishing,

relentless...ohfuck—andiknowitwillnotbelong.he

setsapoundingrhythm.istarttoquicken,mylegstensing

beneathhim.

“comeon,baby,”hegasps.“giveittome.”

hiswordsaremyundoing,andiexplode,

magnificently,mind-numbingly,intoamillionpiecesaround

him,andhefollowscallingoutmyname.

“ana!ohfuck,ana!”hecollapsesontopofme,his

headburiedinmyneck.

assanityreturns,iopenmyeyesandgazeupintotheface

ofthemanilove.christian’sexpressionissoft,tender.he

strokeshisnoseagainstmine,bearinghisweightonhis

elbows,hishandsholdingminebythesideofmyhead.

sadly,isuspectthat’ssoidon’ttouchhim.heplantsa

gentlekissonmylipsasheeaseshimselfoutofme.

“i’vemissedthis,”hebreathes.

“metoo,”iwhisper.

hetakesholdofmychinandkissesmehard.a

passionate,beseechingkiss,askingforwhat?idon’t

know.itlea一vesmebreathless.

“don’tlea一vemeagain,”heimplores,lookingdeepinto

myeyes,hisfaceserious.

“okay,”iwhisperandsmileathim.hisanswering

smileisdazzling;relief,elation,andboyishdelight

combinedintooneenchantinglookthatwouldmeltthe

coldestofhearts.“thankyoufortheipad.”

“youaremostwelcome,anastasia.”

“what’syourfa一voritesongonthere?”

“nowthatwouldbetelling.”hegrins.“comecook

mesomefood,wench.i’mfamished,”headds,sittingup

suddenlyanddraggingmewithhim.

“wench?”igiggle.

“wench.food,now,please.”

“sinceyouasksonicely,sire,i’llgetrightontoit.”

asiscrambleoutofbed,idislodgemypillow,

revealingthedeflatedhelicopterballoonunderneath.

christianreachesforitandgazesupatme,puzzled.

“that’smyballoon,”isay,feelingproprietaryasi

reachformyrobeandwrapitroundmyself.ohjeez...

whydidheha一vetofindthat?

“inyourbed?”hemurmurs.

“yes,”iflush.“it’sbeenkeepingmecompany.”

“luckycharlietango,”hesays,insurprise.

yes,i’msentimental,grey,becauseiloveyou.

“myballoon,”isayagainandturnonmyheeland

headouttothekitchen,lea一vinghimgrinningfromearto

ear.

christianandisitonkate’spersianrug,eatingstir-fry

chickenandnoodlesfromwhitechinabowlswith

chopsticksandsippingchilledwhitepinotgrigio.christian

leansagainstthecouch,hislonglegsstretchedoutinfront

ofhim.he’swearinghisjeansandhisshirtwithhisjustfucked

hair,andthat’sall.thebuenavistasocialclub

croonssoftlyinthebackgroundfromchristian’sipod.

“thisisgood,”hesaysappreciativelyashedigsinto

hisfood.